


Upside of Evil, The

by LizaCameron



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Canon Divergence, F/M, Romance, TWW Alternative Universe, what if
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-07
Updated: 2010-04-07
Packaged: 2019-05-30 14:22:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 38,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15098477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizaCameron/pseuds/LizaCameron
Summary: Alternate Universe - What if Donna had never come back to the first campaign?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

She sat, nervously tapping her fingers against the glass top of the desk in front of her. Idly, she wondered who came up with the bright idea to make a desk out of glass. It was insanely impractical. You could see right through it, so there was no storage, and when you tapped your fingers against the surface, it left a smudge print. She used her sleeve to wipe away the evidence of her nervous fidgets. She'd count this as clue number one about her new work environment: in the downtown D.C. offices of the WRC, it was all about form over function.

"Donna…" Gwen Stevens began as she rushed into her office, where Donna sat waiting. Setting a coffee cup and a blue file folder down on the thick glass, she looked up and met Donna's eye with a smile. "So I know it's your first day… but we're gonna throw you right in." 

Donna stood and smoothed her skirt at the other woman's entrance. "Great, I'm excited to get to work. What's on the agenda?" Donna had liked Gwen immediately upon meeting her; she was a perky blonde with intelligent green eyes and laugh lines. Donna guessed her to be in her early forties. 

"The White House." 

She sat back down in one of the chairs opposite Gwen's desk. "That is throwing me in."

"We have to move fast. The legislation is moving through committee and if we want to avoid a vote, we need to be in their faces now."

"But a White House meeting?"

"We brought you in from Chicago because you know the issue inside and out. This is why you're here."

"I'm sure there are a lot of people here-"

"You wrote a brilliant thesis... and you've spent the last year working on these issues. So I think you're the perfect person to take this meeting." Gwen sounded confident and convincing, even though she had been shocked when her boss had instructed her to take the young woman to the meeting on her first day. But her boss was the National Director for a reason and she obviously had a plan.

Donna had been amazed at how fast everything had happened. A week and a half ago, her boss had called her in and asked if she wanted to go to D.C. And after one quick interview with the National Director in Chicago it was a Monday morning and she'd been in Washington for 48 hours, living in a hotel, two suitcases full of clothes accounting for all the possessions she had with her. The rest of her belongings were supposedly being packed and shipped by professional movers, and were slated to arrive in two weeks.

"Okay," Donna answered slowly, determined to rise to the occasion. "Who are we meeting with?" 

"Josh Lyman, the Deputy Chief of Staff," Gwen answered briskly, all business.

Donna went white. She was glad she was sitting down or she might have fainted.

"What?" Gwen noticed that Donna's already pale complexion had lost even more color. "Don't be nervous. I know Lyman has a reputation as a terror, but he's really not so bad."

"No… no, it's not that," Donna stuttered. "It's just that…"

Gwen looked at her expectantly. "Yes?"

"Well, did I mention that I worked for the first Bartlet campaign for a short while?" 

The other woman gave her a curious once over. "No, I don't think you did. Was it on your resume?"

"No, it was such a short period of time, just six weeks… but the thing is…" Donna paused.

"Yeah?" 

"I was Josh Lyman's assistant."

Gwen laughed. "Don't worry about it." She assumed Donna was concerned because she'd only lasted six weeks as his assistant and it would reflect poorly on her. "I used to be with Senator Hayworth and had to deal with his office all the time; I talked to a new person every time I called. And David-- my husband David, you'll meet him, he works over at Treasury-- tells a story about how one of the aides in the office had been Lyman's assistant and one day Lyman was over there and was introduced and had no idea that the guy had worked directly for him. He's a little notorious about going through staffers; I'm sure he probably won't even remember you." 

"He probably won't even remember me," Donna repeated, but somehow that made her feel worse, not better.

***

She couldn't decide whether she was nervous, excited, scared, terrified, anxious, or a combination of any and all adjectives that, put together, described someone a little pale, a little short of breath, a little dizzy and a little numb. They were in the White House lobby. The White House. The seat of the executive branch of the United States government. The home of the President. The place where Josh worked. Josh. She hadn't seen him in almost five years; well, she hadn't seen him in person in about five years. The fact was that she'd only known him for six weeks, but for an important six weeks, certainly the most exciting she'd ever experienced. She knew that she'd never met anyone, before or since, who’d had such a profound effect on her life.

And now she was going to see him again. That would be nice. He probably wouldn't remember her; she'd remind him that she had worked for him briefly; they would laugh a moment and then move on to business. Simple. No problem. Except she was pretty sure she was going to throw up. Probably not proper etiquette for a White House meeting.

She wasn't sure which worried her more, his remembering her or his not remembering her. If he didn't remember that she'd worked for him… great. Then it wouldn't be a problem, except that it made her want to cry because she'd never forgotten a minute of the time she spent with him. He was why she'd gone back to school; he was why she'd had to leave. 

Now, on the other hand, if he did remember her, she was certain he would remember that she'd left the campaign. Left him. She hadn't even done it in person, just a note. Maybe he wouldn't remember that part. But even if he did, if he went through tons of staff, he probably wouldn't care. She had just been one in apparently a very long string of assistants. Her stomach knotted.

She had to remind herself not to feel badly; it made sense that she would remember him better than he'd be able to remember her. After all, she saw him on TV or read about him all the time. Especially that summer… she remembered clearly the night it happened. Thanks to summer school and a heavy course load, she'd been about to graduate that May. That night she'd been studying for finals, pulling an all-nighter in her parents’ living room with the TV flickering on mute, when she noticed that there was breaking news. 

A shooting… an assassination attempt on the President. When, late in the night, they finally released that it was Josh who had been seriously injured, Josh who had been shot, she'd forgotten all about studying for her Legislative Theory final. At first she'd paced the living room. Then she picked up the phone, but there was no one to call. Next she'd gone upstairs and packed. She would head to Washington, D.C.

It was her mother who had convinced her not to do anything rash, like blow off her final and drive to a city where she didn't really know anyone, to be at the bedside of a man that probably wouldn't remember her, and whom she most likely wouldn't even be allowed to see.

Startled, Donna was roused from her memories by the sound of a woman's voice. "Hi, I'm Ginger. If you'll follow me I'll show you to the Roosevelt Room." 

***

The two women were seated at the large conference table, waiting. Donna looked around and marveled that she was actually about to take a meeting in the White House. She tried to focus on the meeting and her mission, not on whom the meeting was with. Just then the door opened, and a man swept in with a stack of folders in one hand and a pair of glasses in the other. She knew him, but he definitely wasn't Josh.

"Hello, I'm Sam Seaborn, Deputy Communications Director." Donna noticed that he still had a boyish smile.

They rose, and Gwen stuck out her hand. "Gwen Stevens, we met at-"

He took her hand, but cut her off. "Gwen, of course, how are you… how is David?"

"Wonderful. I want you to meet our new point person on this issue, she just moved from the Chicago office. This is Donna Moss, she-"

"You are Donna Moss," he interrupted with a big smile. He'd looked over at her as soon as Gwen had started the introduction and thought she seemed very familiar, but as soon as Gwen said the name it all fell into place.

She smiled back. "Sam, I didn't think you would remember me."

He crossed around the table. "Of course I remember you." He pulled her into a quick hug. "You're the only one who ever kept Josh together. We were so sorry when you left, especially Josh." 

Donna didn't know whether to feel gratified or mortified by his words. 

"I know this was to be Josh's meeting, but he's been held up on campaign business." Sam paused and looked quizzically over at Donna. "Did he know he was supposed to meet with you?"

Donna shook her head, not sure whether she was relieved or disappointed that she wouldn't get to see Josh. "No, I just got to town over the weekend; this is my first day on the job."

"Wow, I guess you've hit the ground running then?" She nodded. He looked over at Gwen. "Shall we get started?"

***

They met for over an hour. Donna felt satisfied with the results of the meeting, but she knew it was going to be an uphill battle getting the support they wanted.

As the meeting came to a close, Sam looked at Donna, his eyes full of both kindness… and curiosity. "Can you stick around a few minutes?"

"Uh… sure." She nodded, not at all sure what he wanted from her.

Gwen looked between them and then decided she wasn't needed any longer. "Well, I'm going to meet my husband next door for dinner, so will you be okay getting back?"

Donna smiled at her gratefully. "Yes, fine, thank you. The Metro was the first thing I mastered when I got here Saturday." The Metro had been easy. She was pretty sure nothing else in her new life or job was going to be that easy.

Sam picked up the phone. "Hey, come down to the Roosevelt Room, there's someone here you'll want to say hi to." Donna froze. Josh was coming; he'd just called Josh and Josh was coming to say 'hi.' She commanded herself not to hyperventilate and then said it over and over in her head, trying to will herself to calm down.

"So where are you living?"

"Huh?" She'd been concentrating so hard on not hyperventilating that she hadn't heard him.

He chuckled indulgently before repeating, "Living? Where are you living?"

"Oh, I don't have a place yet. They have me at an Embassy Suites, near Dupont Circle."

Sam nodded as they both heard a voice from behind them. "Sam, have you given any thought to the First Lady’s agenda… the Post wants an answer on…" But it wasn't Josh's voice; in fact, it wasn't a man's voice.

Donna whipped around so that she was face-to-face with the White House Press Secretary. CJ studied her intently. "CJ, you remember Donna Moss. She was with us for awhile-"

"On the first campaign!" She interrupted excitedly. "Of course, Donna, how are you?"

Donna heaved a relieved sigh at her reaction and smiled. "Frankly, surprised you guys remember me."

"Remember you? We shared a room all through South Carolina and…" She trailed off as she saw Sam, behind Donna's back, shaking his head vigorously at her.

"And?" Donna questioned

"Nothing." CJ smiled innocently at her. "Nothing, just that of course we remember you. What brings you here?"

"She's the WRC's new front person on choice," Sam piped up. "She was supposed to meet with Josh today, but since he got stuck in Memphis, I met with her and Gwen Stevens instead."

"Really?" CJ turned to face her. 

"Yes, our Congress thinks it's going to shove through legislation before the election. The WRC is gearing up."

"No, I know, but I didn't know you worked here for the WRC." She emphasized the word 'here.'

"Actually, today is my first day. I've been in their Chicago office the last two years while I worked on my masters."

CJ looked at her thoughtfully, before unwittingly muttering, "He must be slipping."

"Pardon me?" Donna thought she must have misheard. 

"Oh, nothing. Nothing." She straightened up and glanced down at her watch. "Donna, what are you doing for dinner? Because I could use a break; what about you, Sam?"

"I could take a quick dinner break…" Sam turned to Donna. "What do you think?"

She grinned at him genuinely. "I'd love to." She never expected to get such a warm reception from them; plus, no self-respecting lobbyist ever turned down dinner with people as important as these. 

"Donna, why don't you wait here a minute while I grab my purse and Sam, you want to see if Toby's around?"

"Sure," Sam answered as they both left the room. Donna sat down for a minute, her mind whirling. She'd been on the job one day and she was already having dinner with the White House senior staff; she was going to be a hero in the office. But it was more than that; they were treating her like a long-lost friend, which was odd to her, considering she'd only known them over one six-week period years ago. Of course, it had been an extremely pivotal six weeks in the campaign. That must be it, she thought; it was a memorable time in their lives and she had been there. It made sense. She guessed.

***

Donna was having a lovely time at dinner, but all she really wanted to do was ask about Josh. Something deep down wouldn't let her. Pride… or maybe because he was a part of her life that had been almost completely shut off for years.

CJ looked at her pointedly as she waved a forkful of salad in the air. "So, Donna, you're not wearing a ring, can I assume you're not married?"

Donna swallowed and shook her head. "No, not married… very single, in fact."

"Very single? So, I guess it didn't work out with Dr. Ferret-head?"

Donna choked on her iced tea.

"I'm sorry, that was rude. It's just that I don’t know his name and that's what Josh always called him," CJ quickly apologized.

Donna waved her off as she struggled to catch her breath. "No, it's okay; that's a surprisingly apt name. Actually, it was Dr. Freeride. I mean, Josh called him Dr. Freeride." She tried to stifle a laugh before turning serious. "But, no, of course it didn't work out with him. That's why I joined the campaign in the first place."

"Yeah, but then you left the campaign to go back to him." CJ eyed her with slight suspicion.

Donna was at a loss for a moment before she remembered. And then she did something that would alter the course of her life; she spoke without thinking. "I'd almost forgotten that's what I told him." 

Everyone around the table was silent. CJ and Sam exchanged curious glances. Obviously puzzled, Sam asked, "So you didn't leave to go back to Dr. Whatever?" 

"No, I left…" She trailed off, not knowing what to say. Involuntarily, her chest tightened. She'd been caught. Glancing at CJ, she started to explain, "I left for a lot of reasons, but I never went back to him. I did go back to Madison, but back for school. Lived with my parents, finished my bachelor’s degree, saved money and then was able to go to Northwestern for grad school. Josh sort of inspired me to do that."

"Why did you tell Josh that you were leaving to go back to your ex?" Sam tried to sound casual as he poked at his chicken.

Donna took a deep breath and looked over at the three curious faces staring back at her. She decided that enough time had passed so that the truth—well, mostly the truth-- wouldn't hurt now. "Because I thought it was the only reason I could give so that he wouldn’t follow me and convince me to come back." She sighed with true sadness as she remembered the events surrounding her departure. It had ripped her heart out, and taken quite some time to recover. In a way, she wasn't sure she was over it… even now. "Because he would have been able to convince me to come back and it was best that I left."

"Oh." They all looked a little taken aback, but nodded like they understood. They’d had no idea.

"So…" She looked down at her salad, trying to appear nonchalant when really, her heart was racing with the admission she'd just made. "How is he? You know I follow you guys closely… by the way, nice job on Crossfire the other night, Sam." Sam looked pleased with himself as she continued. "I have ever since I left the first campaign… is he okay?" She finally looked up.

CJ gave her a half-smile. "He's okay."

"He looked tired on Capital Beat a couple of weeks ago," Donna observed, before grimacing and biting her lip.

"Yes." CJ nodded. "This campaign has been… tough."

Donna wanted to ask a million more questions, but stopped herself. They were already studying her like a freak-show oddity and she knew she shouldn't be so interested in a man she hadn't seen in five years.

***

They finished up eating and all rose to leave, but as soon as Donna said her goodbyes and left, the three senior Bartlet advisors plopped back down.

"Wow," Sam exhaled sharply.

"Can you imagine if he'd walked in that room today?" CJ asked neither of them in particular.

Toby turned in his seat to watch Donna's retreating form before asking, "What's the big deal?" 

"Toby." CJ swatted his arm. 

"What?"

"Don't you remember how devastated he was when she left?"

Toby just stared at her, but Sam nodded in agreement. "He was upset for months, even though he wouldn't admit that was the reason. I think he expected her to just reappear one day. You know, walk back in the office and get back to work. I'm convinced that's why he can't keep an assistant, because they're never as good as he remembers Donna being."

"Who's going to tell him that she's in town?" CJ darted her eyes between the two guys.

Sam looked into the distance thoughtfully for a minute before shaking his head defiantly. "No." 

"What? She's working on this thing and he's going to find out she's here. Besides, why shouldn't he know she's in town?"

"I'm not saying he shouldn't know, I'm saying it matters how he finds out."

"Why?" CJ studied him like he was half-crazy.

"In all the time you've known Josh, when was he happiest?"

Understanding lit CJ's eyes. "That's easy. The first campaign, when Donna was with us."

"But he was also dating Mandy then," Toby interjected.

"Yeah, well, I think we can all agree that his happiness wasn't due to Mandy," CJ scoffed.

"Wasn't that around when his Dad died?" Toby added again, not fully convinced it was the happiest time of Josh's life.

"Exactly, he was dating Mandy… he was devastated over his Dad dying… yet when he was around Donna… there was something about him. I think that says everything." Sam paused before adding, "You know he was on the verge of breaking up with Mandy right before Donna left. Probably already would have had they not been working in different cities. But then Donna left and he was lost and he just… stayed with her."

"Yeah, right through our first six months in office, talk about miserable..." Toby shuddered at the memory.

"So what are you saying, Sam?" CJ narrowed his eyes at him.

"You guys saw her tonight; she has a soft spot for him, maybe more."

"Oh, God, do not tell me you want me to be involved in some sort of harebrained matchmaking scheme while we are in the midst of re-election," Toby asked, exasperated.

CJ snorted loudly. "Like you would be amenable to participating in a harebrained matchmaking scheme if only it weren't for the campaign?"

Toby just rolled his eyes.

"You know, Sam, you might be right." CJ looked at him thoughtfully. "He's kept tabs on her; he let it slip to me awhile ago that she was with the WRC in Chicago, but he has never once admitted why he would bother checking up on a woman who had been his assistant for six weeks, when he doesn’t even know the names of the people that work for him now… he can be pretty stubborn."

"Exactly, so we need to make sure he doesn't get defensive."

"We can't forget she's a lobbyist now; she wants something from us." Toby took a swig of his drink.

CJ turned on him with narrowed eyes. "The WRC should be our ally on this; this administration better not have any intention of letting this conservative Congress put any limitations on a woman's freedom to choose." 

Toby stared back at her, a pragmatic expression on his face. "We're talking about late-term abortions, CJ, not all abortions."

She immediately rebutted, her voice angry, but even. "We're talking about late-term, parental consent, right of information, emergency contraceptives, medical abortions and now they've throw in stem-cell research… we're talking about the strictest controls since before Roe v. Wade."

"Relax, CJ, you might remember I'm on your side." Toby sighed.

CJ glared at him one last time before turning back to the matter at hand. "So what do you want to do, Sam?"

"Leave it to me." Sam smiled, determined to do a favor for his buddy. 

"Sam, we don't even know really why she left; shouldn't we stay out of it? Maybe there's nothing there…" 

"No, I _know_ something's there, or at least was there… remember the night before she left?"

CJ didn't. She shook her head.

"The Southern Democratic Caucus' Fundraiser event? You were worried because…"

She began to nod as the memory came into soft focus. "I was worried…"

_~~~~~~~~~~~FLASH~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

_~SDC FUNDRAISER – ATLANTA~_

_"Sam, is there going to be a problem?" CJ asked as she approached from across the ballroom. Her lavender Richard Tyler gown, a holdover from her Hollywood days, swished around her legs as she walked._

_He looked startled by the question. There were no problems tonight. It was going off without a hitch. "I don't think so, in the two weeks since Illinois we're the front-runner… the nomination is all but sewn up."_

_"Not with that… I mean there." She tried to point discreetly to the dance floor._

_"Do we have a problem because people are dancing? No, it's a good party, it makes Bartlet seem like fun… besides, the band is good."_

_CJ glared at him for not being able to pick up on her implied meaning. "Focus, please, I'm talking about one particular pair on the dance floor. Our political director is out there slow-dancing with his assistant… his young, pretty, blonde campaign assistant."_

_Sam glanced around the dance floor until his eyes came to rest on the pair in question. They did look rather… intimate. "CJ, don't worry about it. Look, they're laughing, he's having a good time. Anyway, don’t bug him about it. Donna's the only one that can make him relax since he came back from the funeral."_

_CJ nodded. She didn't want to be a killjoy, but she really did have to think of appearances. It was her job. "Where's Mandy, I don't think it would bode well if she saw this."_

_"You know she's in Pennsylvania. Thankfully."_

_"Right." She bit her lip, the reminder that Mandy was out of town not making her feel a lick better._

_The song ended and the couples on the dance floor began to scatter. Neither CJ nor Sam failed to notice the way he kept hold of her hand as they exited the dance floor and started towards them. CJ looked over at Sam and whispered, "I'll take her… you take him."_

_Sam just nodded in agreement. Maybe the hand-holding was a bit much._

_~~~~~~~~~~~FLASH~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

~MONDAY NIGHT~

"Oh my God… do you think it was what I said to her that night that caused her to leave?" Horrified, CJ looked first at Toby, then at Sam, then back to Toby again.

Sam just shrugged and Toby took a sip of his bourbon. CJ had always been a little overzealous while being the morality and decorum police for the administration.

The truth slowly sunk in for CJ. At the time, she'd thought Donna had left for her own reasons, to go back to her old boyfriend. But to find out that wasn't it at all and to realize she'd played a part in her disappearance… she had to find a way to make this right. "Okay, I'm in. Count me in on whatever harebrained matchmaking scheme you've got up your sleeve. I feel… absolutely terrible thinking that I had something to do with her leaving. What do you want me to do?"

"Like I said, leave it to me." 

Toby calmly replied, "Oh yeah, this is going to end well."

TBC…

Next:

_Josh was running late as usual when he ran into Sam in the bullpen. "What are you still doing here? You have that lunch," Sam accused anxiously._

_"I know, I'm leaving right now. What did you say the woman's name is again?" Josh questioned as Sam started walking towards the exit with him._

_"Oh, damn, did I forget to get that for you? Don't worry; she's probably already there."_


	2. Upside of Evil, The

~TUESDAY MID-MORNING~

Gwen shook her head, a bit in awe and a bit in disbelief, as she sat in her boss's office. "I'm telling you, he hugged her. Sam Seaborn is known to be a nice man, but this was over the top. He definitely knew who she was and was happy to see her. And then I got word this morning that she had dinner, in public, with Sam, CJ Cregg and Toby Ziegler!"

The director just smiled enigmatically. "Then it's as I had hoped."

"What? You somehow knew a 28-year-old lobbyist on our Chicago payroll had an in with the ultimate inner circle of power?" Gwen was flabbergasted.

"She is going to be our ace in the hole. The way we ensure the White House takes us seriously."

"I don't get it." 

"What did she tell you about her Bartlet campaign experience?"

"Not much, it's not even on her resume. She just said she'd volunteered for the campaign and had been Josh Lyman's assistant for about six weeks. She only told me yesterday after she found out we would be meeting with him. Seemed nervous. I assume it was because she hadn't lasted working for him. I told her nobody does and it was nothing to be ashamed about. However, from the way Seaborn talked to her, it sounded like she'd done a good job and been pretty… memorable. But I don't get how six weeks as a volunteer, four-plus years ago translates to you knowing she'd have access to the Bartlet inner circle."

The director handed Donna's WRC employment file to Gwen. There was a letter sitting neatly on top. "When I was vetting candidates from around the country, I came across this."

"Wow," Gwen gasped after she finished reading.

"I know."

Gwen glanced up at her. "That is one glowing letter of recommendation." 

"Yes, it is."

"From Josh Lyman?" Gwen looked at her with wide eyes. "It's dated June 21st, 2000. That's over two years ago."

"It looks like he wrote it when she first applied for the job in Chicago. Apparently, there's something Donna's not telling you about her time with Bartlet for America and Josh Lyman." 

The director didn't tell Gwen all she knew, either; there was reason beyond the letter of recommendation for her to suspect a deeper connection between Josh Lyman and Donna Moss. 

***

Donna glanced around her office. She'd never had an office before. Hers wasn't as large or as intimidating as Gwen's or the director's with the huge glass desks and the odd art on the walls, but she liked it much better. She hadn't done much to spruce it up, but she did have one window overlooking D.C., a window through which she could see the dome of the Capitol. It was surreal to her that she had an office and could see the U.S. Capitol from its window. She made a mental note. As soon as the movers arrived with her things, she'd find her digital camera and take a picture of her view and email it to her friends and family. Her parents, at least, would get a real kick out of that.

As she looked at the majestic building only a couple of miles away, unbidden she wondered if Josh was there. She knew he must do business on the Hill all the time. Ordinarily the thought would have startled her, but she'd had trouble thinking of anything else since her dinner with Sam, CJ and Toby.

This time she didn't spend long thinking of him because she was broken out of her reverie by Gwen calling her name as she entered her office.

Donna turned to face her as the other woman began to speak. "I just spoke to the director about you, Donna." 

"Oh, no, what's wrong?" Donna looked up from her desk and glanced around nervously. It was only her second day; she couldn't imagine she had done anything wrong yet. Except perhaps mess up a meeting with a high-ranking White House official, but from her perspective, last night's meeting had gone well. She steeled herself as she waited for Gwen to elaborate.

"Nothing, I'm just puzzled about something. Why were you so worried yesterday when you found out our meeting was with Josh Lyman?"

Donna felt herself grow antsy just at the mention of his name. "I told you, I worked as his assistant for a very short period of time during the campaign."

"Yes, and I thought you were worried about it because you hadn't lasted working for him, just like so many others."

Donna just nodded, having no idea where this was going. There was no way Gwen could know how she'd felt and why she'd left. Was there?

Gwen smiled reassuringly at her. "From the way Sam Seaborn treated you in that meeting, it seems like you had nothing to worry about."

"Sam was always very nice to the volunteers," Donna tried to explain, but it came out sounding lame.

"Didn't he say something about you being the only one who could ever keep Josh together?" Gwen pushed, but tried to keep her demeanor curiously casual. 

"I'm sure he was just being polite, making small talk."

Gwen didn't respond to that. "And then a little birdie told me you had dinner with Sam Seaborn, CJ Cregg and Toby Ziegler after I left last night. Those are some very impressive dinner companions for a lobbyist on her first night in D.C."

"I got to know them a little while I was on the campaign." 

"Good," Gwen declared matter-of-factly. "You just made yourself indispensable."

"Indispensable?" 

"Any lobbyist who has access to those people, is indispensable." Gwen was a seasoned political operative; she knew how the game was played.

"The director wants me to exploit that? Exploit… them?" Donna would be lying if she said she hadn't realized that this was a possibility after her dinner the prior night. It was how things went, but she suddenly felt… dirty.

"Yes. Apparently, she knew you'd volunteered for Bartlet for America and was hoping you'd made a contact or two while there," Gwen fudged, waiting to see if Donna would cop on her own to whatever her mysterious connection to Josh Lyman was.

"But I thought I was here because of all the work I've done and my expertise…" 

From Donna's reaction, Gwen was beginning to think that she knew nothing of the glowing letter of recommendation in her file from one of the most powerful men in the country. It seemed highly unlikely that she would forget about something like that, but it also seemed highly unlikely that the Deputy Chief of Staff would write a letter like that unsolicited. There was something odd going on here, but she decided not to bring it up. For now. 

Instead, Gwen just shrugged at her. "Welcome to D.C." Seeing the look of horror cross Donna's face, she relented. "Donna, it's nothing to be ashamed of. You've got the whole package…the passion, the education, the experience and the connections. It's how things work."

"Is it working?" Donna had no idea how to feel about this.

"Well, since we've gotten meetings with several key Representatives based on the fact that you were seen very publicly having a friendly dinner with Bartlet's senior staff last night, then I'd say it's working like a charm."

Right then, Gwen's assistant poked her head into Donna's office. "Donna, you have a call from the White House."

Gwen just looked at her and nodded smugly. "See… working. I'm beginning to think the director was brilliant for choosing you." She nodded towards the phone on the desk. "Go ahead."

Donna picked up the receiver and willed her voice to be calm and professional as she pressed the blinking line. "Donna Moss."

"Hi Donna, this is Ginger from Sam Seaborn's office."

"Hi Ginger." Donna's heart returned to normal when she heard the friendly woman's voice on the other end of the line. She'd thought… well, never mind who she thought was calling her.

"Sam would like to know if you can meet tomorrow for lunch."

Donna looked over at Gwen. "Sure, when and where?"

When Donna hung up the phone, Gwen was leaning sideways against her desk, arms crossed, looking at her expectantly.

"I'm having lunch tomorrow with Sam Seaborn."

"Uh-huh. Like a charm."

***

Donna was shaken. As she sat in the unfamiliar environs of her new office, she couldn't get Josh and her time on the Bartlet campaign out of her mind. Somehow the director of the WRC had found out she'd volunteered on the campaign. But it didn't make sense. Didn't thousands of people in D.C. volunteer or work for Presidential campaigns? And at a much more involved level than she had?

If she'd gotten her job because they thought she could influence the senior staff of the White House, well, then the joke was on them. Because she was pretty sure she was going to be a liability when it came to dealing with them. And more precisely, him. Of course, she'd had her reasons for leaving-- good reasons, important reasons-- but she'd never fully explained them to anybody, most especially not Josh. 

She had worked for him for six weeks and then had left in the middle of the night, a hastily written letter of resignation her only goodbye. No, that wasn't true. The letter hadn't been hastily written. Sitting alone in the business center, it had taken a good portion of the night to get it right. She'd gone through draft after draft, a dozen or so excuses and explanations and several sets of lies, before coming up with a letter of just the right tone, just the right set of circumstances so that he wouldn't question it, wouldn't follow her. 

Taking a deep breath, she pushed Josh and the past out of her mind. She needed to prepare for her meeting with Sam tomorrow. She was in the big leagues now; this wasn't lobbying a state legislature anymore and she was determined to succeed, to show everyone that she had more going for her than some non-existent connection to these powerful people. Even though her mind moved on to other things, the acid in her stomach continued to churn.

***

Josh looked up to find Sam in his doorway. "How was Memphis?"

"Hot," Josh replied, looking weary. "Hey, you took some meetings for me, didn't you? How'd that go?"

"Yeah, the Women's Rights Coalition, they are pretty sure we're going to see the Right to Life bill come up for a vote before the election."

"They want the President to say he'll veto?"

"No, they expect the President to say he'll veto, they want the full weight of the White House leaning on every Representative from here to… well, California to stop it before it comes to a vote."

"Hmmm…" Josh didn't like the bill any more than the next Democrat, but he had an election to win. And this was not a debate he wanted right now when electoral math told him he had to pick up some Bible-belt states, but he also couldn't afford to lose support with women, Bartlet's largest voting block.

"The WRC has a new point person on this; I set up a lunch for you tomorrow at the usual place."

"Okay," Josh said absentmindedly, before looking back up at Sam curiously. "Wait, no. I can't meet with the WRC rep in public."

"We talked to Leo last night; it's what we can do for them right now."

"Fine… who am I meeting?"

"Oh right. I can't remember her name; I'll get that for you." Sam was not a very good actor but Josh didn't seem to suspect anything. "But Ginger got the restaurant to promise you the regular table, so you shouldn't have a problem."

"'Kay." Josh went back to reading his polling numbers.

***

~WEDNESDAY~

Josh was running late as usual when he ran into Sam in the bullpen. "What are you still doing here? You have that lunch," Sam accused anxiously.

"I know, I'm leaving right now. What did you say the woman's name is again?" Josh questioned as Sam started walking towards the exit with him.

"Oh, damn, did I forget to get that for you? Don't worry; she's probably already there."

"It's not Amy, is it?" Josh stopped in his tracks and looked horrified for a minute.

"No." Sam looked puzzled for a moment, as if he too were confused why she wouldn’t handle this herself, before it hit him. "She's probably not the one in our faces, because of that look on your face right now."

"What?" Josh asked innocently.

"After your relationship ended in flames last year and the debacle that got her fired, she probably thinks she isn't the best one to try and influence the White House."

"Yeah, but her new job is the National Director of the WRC."

"So, she's sending her people instead." Sam started to wonder if Donna's being there was a coincidence at all.

After Josh was out the door, Sam absentmindedly walked back to Josh's assistant's desk. "Becky, you'll probably need to rearrange Josh's afternoon."

"My name is Scott."

Sam snapped to attention and looked the man over. Yup, he was definitely a man. "Sorry, Scott, you'll probably need to rearrange Josh's afternoon."

"Why? He said he'd be back in less than an hour."

"I have a feeling he's going to be a little longer than that."

***

The restaurant was only a couple of blocks from the White House, so Josh walked. It was still unbearably hot under the late August sun and he began to feel his shirt stick to his back. The speed of his walk might indicate to someone who didn't know him that he was eager to get to his impending appointment. That assumption couldn't have been farther from the truth. 

Josh didn't want to take this meeting. In fact, he really was weary at the thought of taking any meeting these days. The second campaign had been brutal; he felt like he hadn't slept since the President announced to the world over a year ago that he had M.S. His body behaved as if it had aged ten years over the course of one. But it wasn't just physical… the fatigue was mental and it was emotional. It had taken awhile for realization to dawn, but now it was clear-- he was plain, old, garden-variety burnt-out. He remembered a time when he'd had a fire and a passion for politics, but not anymore. Now he just did the job. Without inspiration he went through the motions, never really getting anywhere, never really making a difference.

He hadn't told anybody yet, but as soon as the election was over he would tender his resignation. Smacking around Congress and stop-gap crisis control for another four years just didn't hold any appeal for him. He had the only job he'd ever wanted and now all he wanted was a rest. And something else. He didn't know what that something else was, but he knew he'd gone without it for far too long.

Maybe he'd go to the private sector. Maybe back to Boston. He'd liked Boston while he was at Harvard… or maybe Chicago. He'd always thought Chicago might be a nice place to live.

***

Donna sat, fidgeting nervously in the booth. The thought of meeting with Sam didn't make her nervous; he had been so friendly the other night. Donna remembered how he was Josh's best friend and that even during her short time on the campaign she had figured out he was more like an eager puppy than a political bulldog, but today she had threats to deliver and she didn't like doing that. 

Josh entered the restaurant and after a quick word with the maitre d, headed over to the booth. He could see a blonde head sitting with her back to him. From the back it appeared like she could be attractive. Maybe this wouldn't be as painful as he thought.

He stopped several times as he made his way to the booth to say hello to a couple of Senators, as well as the Secretary of the Interior. As he slid into the booth and sat down, he was still surveying the room for other power players. And as such, he started talking without looking at her. "Hi, Josh Lyman, sorry to keep you waiting. Unfortunately we're going to have to make this quick because-" 

He stopped on a dime the second he finally focused on her.

Donna's heart had leapt and tumbled in her chest as soon as she'd caught sight of him. This wasn't Sam. She was supposed to be meeting Sam. Her mouth was open and her eyes wide as she stared at him. She couldn't help but notice the tense lines of his face and the slight sprinkling of gray at his temples. She also noticed the way her heart raced when she looked at him, just like it had the night before she left. And pretty much every night of the six weeks before that.

They sat in silence, staring at one another for a very long minute. Josh couldn't believe what he was seeing. For a second he thought it was a mirage. It wouldn't be the first time he thought he'd seen her, only to find that it wasn't her. But those times had always been at a distance, a glimpse of blonde hair in a crowd. Not the same as this, sitting in a booth looking directly at her. She looked the same, except better, more mature, more sophisticated. Either she was really sitting across from him or he was having a full-blown episode. Not totally out of the realm of possibility for him.

"You're not Sam." She broke the silence with the only thing she could think to say. His stomach jumped at the sound of her voice. There was no mistaking it.

"No, I'm not." 

"I was supposed to be meeting Sam."

"Well, I'm here instead."

"But what about Sam?" Donna knew she was babbling, but she wasn't yet operating at full cerebral function.

"See, I'm actually higher on the food chain than Sam. It's actually better for you to meet with me."

"I see your ego is still intact."

"And I see you still don't have a problem telling me exactly what my shortcomings are."

"So you do remember me." Donna wasn't sure if what she felt was surprise or relief or fear at the thought. She was in such a state of shock she'd completely forgotten that the others had remembered her. If they had, it stood to reason Josh had.

He looked at her incredulously, his mind whirring in a dozen directions at once. "Are you kidding?"

"No, it's been five years and I only worked for you for a very short time. I wasn't sure…"

"It's been four and a half years and you worked for me for six weeks." His intent gaze made her squirm in her seat.

"My colleague at the WRC said you had a reputation for going through assistants and not even remembering who had worked for you…"

His eyes continued to drill into her with a look that she felt down to the pads of her feet. "I remember you."

"Oh." She cast her face down, trying to escape all the questions she saw in his eyes.

The waiter came up at that moment. "Good afternoon, Mr. Lyman, what can I get for you today? The usual?"

Donna looked up and saw him nod; she looked at the waiter questioningly. "What's the usual?"

"Porterhouse, well-done. Baked potato. What can I get for you?" He smiled.

She shook her head vigorously. "Red meat and starch? No way, salmon is better for you, and a spinach salad. In fact, I'll have that, too." She smiled up at the waiter.

Josh just stared at her, open-mouthed, before regaining his speech. "Donna! I don’t want fish."

"Yes, but we can't always have what we want. You don't eat right, I can tell. You never did." She looked back up at the waiter. "The fish."

The waiter looked terrified. He glanced over at Josh, who finally acquiesced by nodding his head and rolling his eyes. The waiter scurried away.

They stared defiantly at one another until he started laughing.

"What?" She demanded defensively.

"It's just the first time I've had a professional political operative who wanted something from me countermand my food order." 

"Are you saying you aren't going to give the WRC what it wants because I care that you eat right?" She stuck out her lower lip in a pout that had become so familiar over the course of their short time together that Josh couldn't believe it had been four and a half years since he'd last seen it.

Josh smiled genuinely at her. If he'd stopped to think about it for any length of time, he would have realized it was the first one to grace his face in some time. 

Donna nearly melted at the sight of his dimples. She had almost forgotten that he had them. Almost.

"No, your caring what I eat won't affect the position of the White House, or my position for that matter," he lied, silently acknowledging to himself that as long as she looked at him with those big blue eyes, she could probably play him like a fiddle.

"Great, then shall we get down to business." She mentally patted herself on the back for not forgetting why she was there.

He sighed and nodded.

***

"You need Bartlet. If Ritchie wins, he can stack the Supreme Court and they'll overturn Roe." He stabbed at the lifeless spinach on his plate as he spoke.

"If they keep nipping and tucking until it's still technically legal to have an abortion, but nobody actually has access to one, then what does the Supreme Court matter?"

"Donna." He shook his head.

"The WRC loves President Bartlet. The WRC will do everything in its power to get him elected over Ritchie, but not at the cost of this bill."

"The President won't sign the bill."

"We don't even want it to get to the President's desk. We want you guys to start talking about it now."

"This is going to be a tight election; we can't put this debate front and center… we can't make this the focus of the election."

"We're going to march." She looked directly at him.

"What do you mean, you're going to march?" He asked her nervously.

"I mean one million women… people… women people… on the Mall a week before the election. It's… already in the grassroots planning stage all over the country, college campuses… uh… women's groups, etc. Personally… I'm hoping the First Lady will… lead it." Donna pulled it all out of thin air.

Josh just stared at her before repeating with a glint in his eye, "Women people?"

With great difficulty, she ignored his poking fun at her. "We are going to scare the hell out of every Congressperson who even thinks of voting for this, and we want the full-throated support of the White House." 

Josh smiled in spite of himself; he remembered a broken yet loquacious young woman who had hired herself. Even though she looked a lot like that girl, this wasn't the exact same woman; she still talked a lot, but she was no longer broken. He decided he liked her unbroken.

"What?" She asked self-consciously.

"Nothing." He reached up to scratch his cheek. "What does the WRC want from me today?"

"Well, from what I understand you're doing it right now, by meeting with me in public." She smiled.

"If meeting with you in public is all you want, I think that can be arranged." He smirked. Was it possible to miss a person's smirk? Nah, Donna decided… that was ridiculous.

"Today that's what we want." Donna couldn't assign a description to the emotion that flooded through her at the thought of lots of meetings with Josh. It was distracting and she had a job to do.

"Okay, what about what I want?"

She looked up at him and nervously searched his eyes. Her voice trembled slightly; she hoped he didn't catch it. "What do you want?"

"Answers," he said simply, his eyes never leaving hers.

She felt nervous twinges bounce up and down in her stomach. "What kind of answers?"

"I think you know," is all he said aloud, but his mind raced with specifics. Why are you here? When did you get here? Why didn't you call me when you got to town? Why haven't I heard from you in four and a half years? Why did you leave in the first place…?

"Right." She looked around the room searching for cover, looking for any kind of delay or distraction. "Don't you have to be getting back? You said when you sat down that you had to make this quick."

He looked down at his watch. "Damn. I do have to go; when can we talk?"

She shrugged, batting the ball back into his court. "Whenever you have time."

"Dinner tonight." 

If she had known he was going to bat it back so soon she might have kept the ball. She took a deep breath and forced a nervous smile. "Sure, what time?"

"Nine o'clock."

Relieved, her racing mind found an out. "Too late, I need to eat before then. Maybe another time."

"Fine, eat whenever you want, we'll meet for drinks at nine."

Bested, she acquiesced. "Fine, where?"

"Where are you staying?"

"Near Dupont Circle." 

"Fine." He grabbed a card from his wallet and wrote an address on the back. "I'll meet you there at nine."

The waiter walked up at that moment with the bill; Josh took it from him. "I'll take care of it on my way out." And he was gone before Donna could even protest that the WRC would pay.


	3. Upside of Evil, The

"How was your lunch?" Sam was standing in his doorway with a smug smile.

"Sam, how dare you ambush me like that?" Josh tried to sound angry, but he felt happier than he had in ages, which didn't allow for the appearance of much anger.

"I though you might like the surprise."

"You did?" Josh tried to act cool.

However, Sam wasn't fooled. He'd known Josh for too long to be fooled by his attempt at indifference. "Yes, I thought you'd be happy to see her."

"Sure, it was nice to see her; of course, it took a minute to remember who she was." It wasn't a complete lie; he'd been so stunned when he saw her that it had taken a full minute to remember who she was. 

"CJ, Toby and I had dinner with her Monday night." Sam waited for his reaction.

"And yet not one of you told me she was the new WRC lobbyist?" 

"CJ tells me you knew she worked for the WRC?" Sam didn't take the bait. He had a mission and part of that mission was to sound casual.

"In Chicago," Josh said without thinking. He looked up quickly, knowing he needed to cover. "I had heard something, somewhere about her working there." 

Sam didn't betray the fact that he knew Josh wasn't being totally honest. "She seems to have done well for herself." CJ walked up behind Sam as he finished the sentence.

Josh nodded a greeting to CJ. "Yeah? We mostly talked business, didn't really have a chance to catch up." He didn't add the part about her making him eat fish or their plans for later.

"Oh, yeah, it sounds like she's doing great. Got her master's degree, doing work that's important to her at the WRC, and apparently she's got a boyfriend back in Chicago."

CJ struggled not to react to Sam's blatant lie. Donna had very clearly told them she was single.

Josh's head popped up at that one. "Really?" He couldn't hide his interest, or his disappointment.

"Oh yeah, what did she say, CJ?" Sam pretended to concentrate. "Right, she got her master's in Public Policy and Administration from Northwestern."

"Not the part about school." Josh looked at him impatiently.

"Oh, the boyfriend?" When Josh nodded, he continued. "She said he's staying in Chicago and they're going to do the long-distance thing for awhile and then decide what to do. She wasn't sure whether it would work out or not, but she wants to try." Sam felt a little bad lying to his friend when he saw the distressed look on his face, but he knew it was for Josh’s own good.

CJ plastered a smile on her face and gritted her teeth. "Sam, Toby needs to see you for a minute. See you later, Josh?" She raised her eyebrow in question at Josh even as she backed away, pulling Sam with her towards Toby's office.

Josh just nodded absentmindedly, feeling much more deflated than he had ten minutes earlier. She had a boyfriend? Why hadn't she mentioned a boyfriend? Of course, that wasn't a normal topic of conversation in a meeting with a lobbyist. But still, she could have mentioned something! Not that it mattered in the least. He was not at all affected by seeing her again, anyway. They'd have drinks, he'd get answers, and that would be it. Clean and easy.

***

As soon as they were in Toby's office with the door closed, CJ exploded. "What in the hell was that?!"

Toby looked up from his desk with displeasure.

"What do you mean?" Sam backed away from her.

"Why in the hell are you lying to Josh like that?"

"You're saying the word 'hell' a lot, CJ," Sam pointed out.

"What did he lie about?" Toby asked, curiosity winning out over annoyance.

CJ turned to face Toby, but stuck an accusing finger into Sam's chest. "He just told Josh that Donna had a serious boyfriend in Chicago."

Toby groaned and put a hand to his temple. "We're actually doing the harebrained matchmaking scheme? I thought we'd decided against that."

"I didn't say serious." Sam flashed CJ his patented boyish smile, which he also managed to imbue with reassuring confidence. "Relax, CJ. Trust me, I've known Josh for almost twelve years."

"So? I thought you wanted him to take a chance with her… it sounds more like you're sabotaging him."

"He needs an obstacle. I know all about matters of the heart."

"You don't know anything about matters of the heart, Sam!" CJ accused heatedly. "I don't like this. Did you see his face when you told him? He was upset!" She turned her attention to Toby. "Say something!"

"What do you want me to say?" Toby shrugged.

"I don't know, something! About how this is a bad idea and not our place."

"I think you're saying that enough for both of us, CJ." 

Sam still looked convinced that he was in the right. "If he thinks she's involved with someone else, then he won't put up any defenses around her. You have no idea what wounded pride can do to a man. She left him; I think this will misdirect him from that."

CJ just glared at him.

"Seriously, CJ, we'll monitor the situation, and if it goes too far, you can tell him yourself what we've done."

"Uh, no there, Spanky. We will monitor the situation, but if it goes too far, _you_ will tell him what _you've_ done." CJ started for the door, shaking her head. "This is so ill-advised." 

***

It took approximately one hour for Donna to calm down enough to realize what she'd done. She was still reeling from her meeting with Josh, but even so, she had to keep her mind on work. Poking her head into Gwen's office, she asked, "Can we throw together a million-woman march in… oh, say, eight weeks?"

Gwen looked up from her computer, sure she had misunderstood. "Hmmm?"

"A million people, you know, marching on the Mall the week before the election. Do you think we can pull that off?" 

"No, why?"

"Well, because at lunch, I might have said that we're planning one."

"Are you kidding?"

"Nope."

"This isn't good. You can't make a toothless threat against the White House!"

"Sure you can, I just did," Donna said with much more confidence than she felt.

"You told Sam Seaborn that we're planning a march?"

"No, actually I told Josh Lyman that we're planning a march."

"I thought you were supposed to meet with Sam?"

"So did I." She couldn't suppress a nervous grin. "But as I was told at lunch, Josh actually outranks Sam, so it's better for me to meet with him."

They were interrupted by Gwen's assistant bursting in the room. "The First Lady's office is on the phone."

"For me?" Gwen looked surprised.

"No, for Donna."

Donna hoped Gwen couldn't tell her stomach had become a nervous pool. The First Lady of the United States was calling her! Or rather, her office was probably calling, but still, it was extremely exciting. And nerve-wracking. What in the heck could she possibly want? How would the First Lady's office even know who she was?

Gwen just stared at her as she picked up the phone to take the call.

When Donna hung up, she looked over at Gwen with wide eyes. This lobbying stuff on a national level was easier than she thought it would be-- that's for sure. However, she didn't want to think about why it was easier. "They want to know if we can come by tomorrow to discuss how the First Lady's office might be involved in our march."

"You're kidding!" Gwen's eyes went wide.

"Nope."

"You just made up this march, when? A couple of hours ago?"

"Yes."

"I guess we better get to work and see what we can come up with?" Gwen looked frazzled. "What made you announce to Josh Lyman that we were planning a march?"

"Well, as the political director of the Bartlet for America campaign once told me, sometimes you've got to put it out there to make it happen."

"Political director…" Donna could tell the other woman was thinking. "Who was the political director for Bartlet for America?" Gwen asked, brows furrowed.

"Josh Lyman," Donna replied, trying not to look too pleased with herself.

***

~WEDNESDAY NIGHT – THE JAMES PUB NEAR DUPONT~

Donna sat at the bar… very calmly and precisely shredding a napkin. It was five till nine; Josh wasn't late yet, but she assumed he would be. That was fine; she knew he was going to interrogate her and she in no way wanted to hurry that conversation along. She had no idea why he thought it necessary to dredge up the past. It was over. Right?

The truth was that she hadn't had a conversation like the one that was about to come, for some time. Sure, she did date occasionally, but nothing since Dr. Freeride before the campaign had ever really gotten to the relationship stage. Something always held her back; it was like no matter how cute or successful the guy, something was missing. Something crucial and worth waiting for.

So, therefore, she hadn't had to break up with many guys. Most of the time she made it to the third or fourth date and then just sort of turned icy and stopped returning phone calls… things would just naturally fizzle out, no need for emotional scenes. Maybe that was part of why she was nervous-- she was out-of-practice when it came to matters of the heart. Not that this was a matter of the heart. This was… it… well, it was hard to explain. Maybe the best word for it was closure.

Just a moment later, surprisingly right on time, she felt someone slide onto the stool next to her. She didn't have to look over to know it was him.

"You came," he said right before he ordered a beer from the bartender. He turned to her. "Do you want a whiskey sour?" She nodded and he completed the order.

"What do you mean I came? Of course I came." She looked sideways at him.

"I just wasn't sure if I would find you here or just a note explaining that you had a better offer." There was a sarcastic edge to his voice.

She closed her eyes; this was going to be worse than she thought. "Not fair, Josh."

Josh grimaced and took a deep cleansing breath. "I apologize." He didn't want to scare her off until he'd gotten what he'd come for. Before talking to Sam, he'd been looking forward to this, almost like a date. Even though he wasn't foolish enough to think that was what this was. But since talking to Sam it had preyed on him that she was with someone, probably the loser she left him for to begin with. Staring hard at her profile, he was silent until the drinks came. 

As he studied her, he felt his heartbeat hit double-time in his chest. He was a little surprised that she still had a physical effect on him. He would admit that during the campaign she'd always had that effect on him when they were in close proximity. He would also admit that it had been inappropriate. 

"I'm not feelin' this bar thing, let's go sit over there." He motioned to a couple of comfortable-looking chairs around a low table in the corner.

She got up and reluctantly followed him. Once they were settled, he looked her over. "You changed?"

Cautiously, she glanced down at her outfit. "What?" She wondered if what he said had a larger meaning than just the superficial.

"Your clothes, that wasn't what you were wearing earlier today." He didn't have a larger meaning.

She had been wearing a black pantsuit earlier; now she just wore the pants with the sleeveless red shell that had been under the suit. "I didn't change; I just took off the jacket." She had, however, completely freshened up her hair and make-up, but she didn't think she needed to mention that… or think about why she'd done it. 

"Oh." They fell into silence again, but this time they were facing one another. Looking him over, she noticed that he hadn't changed. He wore the same suit he'd sported earlier in the day, but now it was rumpled and his tie hung loose around his neck. She had an inexplicable desire to lean over and run her fingers through his unruly hair. She refrained, but it took self-control. 

Finally, she decided the anticipation was much worse than the actual conversation, so she took a breath and plunged into the deep end. "You wanted answers? Go ahead… ask the questions."

Earlier, he'd been optimistic and full of questions, but that had been at lunch when she was smiling and ordering food for him, and that feeling of just being with her had come flooding back. Now he knew she had a boyfriend, and the memory of her leaving him for someone else and not even saying goodbye was all he could think about. He didn't know what he expected out of this conversation, but it was probably his one and only opportunity to get some closure. Something he was now ready to admit he needed, even after all this time.

So despite his insecurities and anger and whether or not there was a point to any of this, he started to ask his questions. "So how long have you been in town?"

"Since Saturday." Donna released the breath she'd been holding; he was starting slow.

"How long will you be in town?"

She shrugged, honestly not knowing what the future would hold. "I don't know, but all my earthly possessions have been entrusted to strangers and are being shipped here as we speak… I'm looking for a place to live." His face remained impassive. He wouldn't acknowledge how pleased he was to hear that.

"Just out of curiosity, if your job hadn't brought you into my path, were you going to, you know, say hello or anything?"

"I thought about it… but I definitely knew that I would run into you at some point," she hedged. The fact was, when the idea of moving to D.C. was presented to her, the first person she'd thought of was Josh. But making the leap from thinking about him to actually making contact was another thing altogether.

"At some point?" He questioned, narrowing his eyes.

"Being told I had a meeting with you on my first day of work was a little overwhelming." She allowed her lips to quirk slightly at her own understatement.

He allowed a smile and let that line of questioning drop. Taking a deep breath, he knew it was time for the heavy artillery. "Why, after the most mind-blowing kiss of my entire life, did I wake up the next morning to find that your resignation had been shoved under my door?"

Her heart dropped into her stomach and she looked at him without blinking. Clearly she knew he was going to bring up the kiss, but now that it had happened, she had no idea where to start. "That kind of requires a long explanation." She fidgeted nervously.

"I've got time. Why I'm here, isn't it?" He took a sip of his beer and didn't take his eyes off of her for a second. 

Clenching her teeth, she thought back to that night. It was no use putting it off anymore; they had to have the conversation. She met his eye before asking softly, "What do you remember about my last night on the campaign?"

"Well, I remember that you looked amazing." He stared at her intently, the memory of her standing before him still as fresh as if it had happened last week and not four and a half years prior.

She blushed at the compliment and glanced at her drink. "What else…?"

~~~~~~~~~~~FLASH~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~THE NIGHT OF THE SDC FUNDRAISER~

"Donna!" Josh bellowed from the other side of the hotel door she was sharing with Margaret.

She opened the door in a rush. "Shhh, Joshua, there are other people staying in the hotel who don't want to hear you yelling in the…" She trailed off and crinkled her forehead. He was staring at her, but appeared not to be listening to a word she said. "What?"

"You… you look…" 

Donna enjoyed the appreciative expression on his face. "Yes?"

"That dress, where did you get that dress?" His eyes bugged out a little.

"It's just a black cocktail dress. I had my sister send it. I didn't think to pack anything like this when I headed for Nashua." She knew it was a good dress; she'd bought it two months before she and Freeride broke up and had never gotten a chance to wear it. She didn't stop to think that it was funny how she now thought of him as Dr. Freeride, just because that's what Josh called him. 

"It's a good dress. You look…" He searched for an adequate and appropriate word to describe her. "…pretty." Pretty. It was a compliment, but not over the top. A boss could tell his assistant she looked pretty… couldn’t he? Even if it didn't do her justice.

Donna smiled at him brightly. It was a good dress and she knew it. Frankly, she had been worried that it might be a little too low-cut in the front and plunging in the back for a political fundraiser, but seeing the look on Josh's face now, she no longer cared.

"So, what do I need to know?" He settled his hand on her lower back and resisted the urge to pull it away again just as quickly. His palm had met bare skin, and the electric jolt he felt at the contact was something he knew probably shouldn’t pass between the political director of a campaign and his favorite volunteer. 

"Ted Turner."

"Check, he's easy, famous… who important am I not going to recognize?"

"I've got it on note cards… there's Arthur Gilwright – inherited real estate mogul from Greensboro, wants to be a player… I think he'll be good for some big-time money. Delilah Thereaux of Delilah's Southern-Fried restaurant chain, she'll love Sam…" As he guided her into the elevator, she continued arming him with all the information he'd need to work the party.

***

Josh had been busy charming Dr. Sheryl Hunt, the regional head of Children First, a group they desperately wanted an endorsement from, when her husband Dr. Tom Hunt, chief of internal medicine at Atlanta General, came and collected her for a dance. The band had started to play and people were actually dancing. Not something that happened at every one of these. Josh looked around and noticed Donna watching the band. He tried not to notice the way her slinky black dress draped across her lithe figure. He decided ‘pretty’ wasn't really the right adjective… beautiful or gorgeous or stunning actually fit better. Deciding that being able to legitimately touch her trumped any distaste he had for the art of dancing, he made his way over to her.

He walked up behind her and suppressed a sudden desire to run his hand down her bare arm. "Care to dance?"

Startled, she turned swiftly towards him. Surely she must have misheard. "What?"

"Dance, would you like to dance?" He held out his hand to her and raised an eyebrow.

"Should we… is that… aren't we working?" Taken off-guard, she stumbled for an appropriate response, and then cursed herself when she didn't come up with one. The invitation to dance with Josh was more than tempting, but somehow it didn't seem right.

"Yes, we're working a party where there is dancing. One more chance…" He was still in disarming politician mode. "Will you dance with me?"

Combine that smile with the tone of voice and tuxedo and she was a goner, completely unable to resist him and his charm. Biting her lip in anticipation, she nodded and he led her to the center of the room, pulling her into an appropriately chaste embrace. Even though there really was nothing wrong with them dancing, the nagging part of his brain kept reminding him how young she was. Because she was… young. He pushed the thought aside. It was the same thought he'd had since the day she'd joined the campaign, but for some reason, tonight he just didn't care anymore.

Donna shuddered at the sensation of being in Josh's arms, of being in such close proximity to him. Feeling the tremble run through her, his voice was filled with concern as he asked, "You chilly?" She met his eyes, but before she could respond that, no, actually she was a little warm, he pulled her close. "Here, we'll get you warmed up."

Who was she to argue? 

They moved around the dance floor effortlessly. "You're actually good." Donna's tone rang with wonder.

Josh burst out laughing. "Did you think I was going to step on you?"

"No," she answered quickly, shifting in his arms. She loved the way he felt so solid against her. "I just didn't imagine you'd be a very good dancer."

"Why?" He let his hand trail up her mostly bare back.

She ignored the sensation his hand was creating against her naked skin. She had to or she'd be entirely unable to concentrate on what she was saying. "'Cause you tripped up the stairs at that Marriott in Ohio… I began to think you might be clumsy after that."

"You saw that?" He slowed their progress and leaned back to look at her, his cheeks turning pink.

"No, I didn't see it."

"Good!" He pulled her back close and involuntarily she leaned even farther into him.

"I sensed it." 

He laughed again and gripped her tighter. "What do you mean, you sensed it?"

She leaned her temple against his, their cheeks pressed together. "Your pant legs were dirty and you limped a little when you came out of the stairwell."

"You know, you could probably get a job with the CIA; those are pretty powerful skills of observation." He squeezed her as they moved around the dance floor.

"I would be a good spy; I can be very sneaky." 

"I believe it." His voice was low and they enjoyed the rest of the dance in silence.

The band broke at the end of the song. Both hid the disappointment they shared when no new song began; neither was ready to stop dancing.

"Hey, these southern Democrats really know how to party," Josh called to CJ and Sam as he led Donna off the dance floor.

Josh was oblivious, but Donna noticed the way CJ stared at their linked fingers. She quickly dropped his hand, knowing she should find a professional distance. "I need to use the ladies’ room… I'll be right back."

CJ quickly added, "Me, too, I'll come with you." Josh just nodded as he watched them move across the room.

"I don't mean to stick my nose where it doesn't belong, but what are you doing?" Sam's voice yanked his attention away from their retreating forms.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you and Donna look pretty cozy tonight."

"We just danced."

"Aren't you still with Mandy?"

He sighed, wishing he could forget that. "Yeah."

"What would she think if she saw you dancing with Donna like that?"

Josh brightened considerably. "She'd think she should break up with me?"

"Is that what you want?" Sam asked evenly. It was sticky talking to a friend about a girlfriend that you didn't think was right for him.

"I don't know… yes," he finally admitted out loud. "I was going to do it last week, the day I got back from… the funeral, but I just didn't have the energy. Then she left town and… out of sight, out of mind, I guess." 

"Is it because of Donna?"

"No!" Josh looked at his friend, stricken. "Why would you think that?"

"Come on, Josh. It's obvious you're smitten with her."

"What? No. She's… my assistant."

"Yeah." Sam smiled knowingly, if not a little sadly. 

"Actually, I guess you're right…" Wrinkles marred Josh's forehead, as realization dawned. "In a way, it was Donna that made me realize I should move on."

Sam listened intently, as he motioned for him to continue.

"You know, she offered to go to Connecticut? My assistant, a campaign co-worker who had known me for less than a month, wanted to go to my dad's funeral with me… while all my girlfriend did was say she was sorry to hear it. That sort of illustrated to me that there was something wrong in the relationship."

"Yeah, I can see how that might do it," Sam agreed, trying to keep his voice neutral.

"And then for the four days I was gone, I'd talk to Donna on the phone… sometimes four times a day. I talked to Mandy a grand total of one time while I was there."

"Four times a day… that's a lot of talking on the phone."

"You guys were in California; a lot of it was campaign business!" He said more than a little defensively.

"I know," Sam said with a non-threatening tone.

"Not all of it was campaign-related. You know, it's weird..." He trailed off.

"What's weird?"

"Nothing, it's… never mind."

"Josh, what?"

"Well, it's just… is it weird that at home I didn't… get emotional, not at my dad's funeral and not once in front of Mom… except for the night of the funeral while I was on the phone with Donna?"

Oh, boy. Josh was in even deeper than Sam had thought. He smiled and shook his head. "Nope, it's because you were being strong for your mom and Donna was being strong for you. It's really only odd because it was your assistant instead of, say, your girlfriend."

Josh nodded quickly, but wasn't satisfied. "But isn't it weird that I would do… that… in front of someone I've only known a few weeks."

"Nope, I've learned that you can be more comfortable with someone you've known an hour than someone you've known your whole life… it's not always about a length of time, it's about the connection." And if Josh had found that kind of connection, he was, indeed, a lucky man. Sam was envious and happy for him.

"When the hell did you get so smart about this stuff?" 

Sam's shrug was filled with self-satisfaction. "I'm naturally insightful; so what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to break up with her." Josh felt lighter just having made the decision. "But I don't want to do it over the phone. As soon as she catches back up with us… next week… I'll do it then."

"And what about Donna?"

"What about her? She's my assistant, a really good one…" He added softly, "And a friend."

"Okay." Sam smiled to himself, seeing all too clearly what his friend was not yet able to perceive.

***

"So, Donna…" CJ began casually.

"Yeah?" Donna looked up in the mirror and caught her eye.

"You know that since you've joined the campaign, you've done a great job and people have really started to respect you, right?"

"That's nice to hear…" Donna's voice was even, but suddenly alarm bells were going off in her head. Something inside her sensed that what came next was going to be anything but nice.

"It's just that…"

Donna stood back and looked directly at the woman she respected and admired so much, but CJ was currently trying to look anywhere but at Donna.

"If you want to be taken seriously at this level, you can't sleep with your boss," CJ said in a rush.

Donna's jaw dropped and she felt her knees go weak as the air whooshed out of her. Thankfully, it was a nice hotel and the ladies’ room had an adjacent powder room with places to sit. CJ saw her falter and steered her to one of the plush chairs.

"I'm sorry; I shouldn't have said it like that. I don't mean to accuse you of anything… I'm just worried about… you know, you work for him and it wouldn't look good and he has a girlfriend," CJ babbled.

Nodding her head, Donna didn't speak, still trying to catch her breath.

"It just wouldn't be good to invite gossip," CJ finished lamely.

"People think…" Donna took another deep breath before trying again. "People think I'm sleeping with him?" 

CJ felt horrible; Donna looked so small and vulnerable. "No… no. I don't think people think that, it's just something I sense happening between you two."

"Well, I'm not!" Donna had recovered enough to be indignant. "We’re not! We've never…"

"I don’t think you have. I just think you're really bright and wouldn't want to see you do anything to damage your professional reputation… or Josh's." Or the campaign, CJ added silently. "You know with his dad passing, he's kind of vulnerable and he might not be thinking clearly-"

Donna stood quickly; the emotion was drained from her voice. "I understand. Thank you for talking to me."

"Donna, please don't be upset. It's just something I want you to keep in mind."

"No, I'm not upset," she lied. "I'll keep it in mind." She wasn't sure how she was going to think about anything else.


	4. Upside of Evil, The

~WEDNESDAY – THE JAMES PUB NEAR DUPONT~

"CJ said that to you?" Josh demanded, his anger not at all veiled. She gulped and, not trusting her voice, nodded her head slowly in answer. "And that's why you left? I'm gonna kill her."

"No!" Forcing air through her diaphragm, she found her voice, and the utterance came out louder than she'd expected. Donna waved sheepishly at the people several tables over, who'd turned to look. After a moment's pause, she continued more softly, "That wasn't why I left; at least, it wasn't the only reason… she was right, Josh."

"No, Donna, she wasn't. There were a dozen things we could have done if it was a problem, and none of them included you leaving the campaign. It was none of her damn business!" 

"She was the press secretary and worried about the election." Donna defended CJ, even though her mind was reeling at the thought of a dozen solutions that didn't include her leaving the campaign. Not that it mattered now. She'd been young and scared then; perhaps she hadn't been thinking clearly.

"If she was worried then she should have come to me. I was the political director and your supervisor. She had no business talking to you." Josh spit out the words like they tasted bitter. 

"Is there anything she said that wasn't true?" Donna asked in a small voice.

Josh opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again. Taking a deep breath, he looked her directly in the eye. "I was thinking clearly."

~~~~~~~~~~~FLASH~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~THE NIGHT OF THE SDC FUNDRAISER~

Josh found her sitting at the bar, staring into a drink-- obviously an adult beverage. "Hey, where you been?" he asked as he slid next to her.

"Drinking," she answered honestly as she swirled her half-empty glass, intently watching the ice move in circles.

Amused, he emitted a short, staccato laugh. "Really?" Donna hadn't struck him as a heavy drinker. "How much have you had?"

"This is my second whiskey sour."

"Uh-oh, I better go inform the Atlanta police that Donnatella Moss is on a bender and she could cause some trouble." He motioned to the bartender to bring him a beer.

"Hey, I also had some wine earlier… besides, the police'd never find me."

He grinned over at her. "Why not?"

"Every street is named the same in this stupid town. So go ahead, tell them I'm on a bender on Peachtree. Let 'em try and figure out which one."

"You thought it was funny when we were driving here this morning."

"Yeah, well, things that were funny this morning don't seem as funny tonight."

Josh studied her for a moment before gently nudging her in the ribs. "What's wrong?"

She steeled herself and tried to shake off her foul mood. "Nothing. Did you talk to the people you needed to talk to?"

A Cheshire grin spread over his face. "Yeah, the prep work you did was excellent. I was a hero with your note cards in my jacket pocket. I think the Governor thinks I'm some sort of savant with all the personal details I supplied him on the potential contributors."

She smiled in spite of her churning stomach. 

"There you go, there's a smile." He was leaning sideways on the bar, staring at her profile. "So this thing is pretty much over," he uttered before taking a swig of his beer. "Wanna find some food?"

She motioned to the door behind the bar. "The kitchen is closed."

"24-hour room service, come on." Without thinking about how odd or how natural it was, he grabbed her hand and tugged her off her stool. "Bring your drink."

She liked the way he held her hand. But she knew for sure, that that would never be considered appropriate boss/assistant behavior. Bobbling slightly as she slid off the stool, he reached out to steady her, and she took that opportunity to slip her hand away from his. But she grabbed her drink and followed him. Maybe food would help settle her stomach.

***

Just being with him improved her mood greatly. His enthusiasm was infectious; he'd had a good night and the campaign had had a good night. They'd raised more money than expected and had shored up some important endorsements in the South. She decided she would work on being more professional with Josh so that no one would get the wrong idea… but she also decided she would start in the morning.

It felt silly to be sitting around Josh's hotel room in formal wear, so once they'd ordered Donna went back to her own room to change. She breathed a sigh of relief that Margaret wasn’t back to their room yet. Not that Margaret probably would have even noticed or said anything about Donna going back to Josh's' room if she had been there. Donna often worked late with Josh; it wasn't out of the ordinary. But after her talk with CJ, Donna was feeling oversensitive about the appearance of all her interactions with him.

Josh had thrown on sweats and a t-shirt and Donna had donned a matching flannel pajama set. A gift from a well-meaning relative at Christmas, they were an azure-blue and covered in cute cartoon cows. As soon as Josh saw the cows he instantly began making fun of her. Jokes about dairy, cheese and Wisconsin rolled off his tongue, but the jokes were mostly to cover how affected he was by Donna in her pajamas. Adorable Donna… in adorable pajamas… in his room. Donna had chosen the cow pajamas because she knew there was nothing sexy about them and she figured no one would find her remotely attractive in them. His dairy jokes convinced her she'd been successful in that endeavor. She was wrong.

They were lying across his hotel bed, picking at their trays from room service. "So you got Ted Turner to make a very large contribution by telling him his ex-wife had made a large contribution."

Josh looked smug and nodded.

"Has Jane Fonda made a large contribution?" Donna asked skeptically.

"She will once she hears that her ex-husband did."

"You lied!" Donna looked over at him with wide eyes.

"In the end it will all be true. Sometimes you've got to put it out there to make it happen, Donna."

"Can I try that with my job? Just tell people that I'm full-time Bartlet for America campaign staff and poof, I will be?"

He nudged her with his elbow and said softly, "It'll happen. Hang in there."

"I am." She reached over and tried to sneak one of his fries.

He playfully swatted her hand from his plate. "You said you didn't want fries."

"I didn't," she stated matter-of-factly.

"Well then, stop eating mine."

"I didn't want them when we ordered, but now I do," she clarified as she picked up one of his fries. She started giggling.

"What?"

She turned to show him the fry. "Don't you think this looks like the Governor?"

He stared at her for a minute as if she were an alien for before he laughingly accused, "You're a little schnockered." 

"You're more schnockered than I am." She moved to set the trays on the floor. 

"How do you figure? You had three drinks tonight; I only had two."

"True, but I suspect that you have a very sensitive system."

"I do not!" He cried indignantly, sitting upright on the bed.

She raised an eyebrow at him from her reclined position.

He felt his chest tighten a little as she stretched out across his bed. As he watched her watching him with a smirk, he felt something else a little lower tighten as well. 

He couldn't deny it; he was attracted to her and they were very quickly getting themselves into a situation they shouldn't be in. The problem was, he couldn't find the resolve to care.

He shook his head in order to stop ogling her and, thinking he should say something, replied, "I do not have a sensitive system!"

"Took you awhile to come up with that very witty comeback, Josh." Once again she started giggling at him.

In one swift move, he grabbed her and pulled her towards him, so that they both toppled back onto the other side of the bed. They ended up pressed against one another, Josh flat on his back, Donna lying on top of him, faces only inches apart. With her hands resting on either side on his head for balance, she felt his arousal stiffen against her thigh. 

Their eyes were locked and silence reigned for a full minute. The only sound he could hear was that of their breath co-mingling in the small space that separated their mouths. His heart raced, and he swore he could feel Donna's thumping just as rapidly as her chest pressed against his own.

Donna didn't really have any rational thought while they lay there, staring at one another. But even though she couldn't think, she certainly was able to feel. The rapid palpitations of her heart and the twitter in her stomach combined to create a nervous excess of adrenaline that coursed through her. Everything was heightened; the warmth of his body underneath her became flames that licked her everywhere they touched. 

In hindsight, she should have pulled away, made a joke, left his room, something… but she didn't do any of those things. She was drawn to him, and whether that was right or wrong, she couldn’t resist it. It came down to one truth: she wanted him, she wanted him to kiss her, and at that moment, nothing would have stopped her.

When she felt his arms snake around her back, she leaned down, and he took it as an invitation. In that matter of seconds, a kiss that neither one planned, but which both welcomed, changed their entire futures.

Her lips were soft, and the second he touched them with his own, he felt something yank deep in his chest… something telling him that nothing that felt this good was wrong. 

She moaned and he immediately reached up and drew her closer, so that he could capture her mouth more fully. No longer having to balance herself now that his powerful arms had her anchored, her hands were free to caress their way up his neck, to cup his cheeks and then feather through his hair.

His tongue gently swept across her lips and she parted them, granting him access for a deeper, more passionate kiss. It had started sweet and slow, but now was doubling in intensity every few seconds, until their lips and tongues were caught up in a frenzied tangle. They couldn't get enough, intoxicated by the taste and touch of one another. 

Donna shifted on top of him to gain better leverage, and that's when it happened. She was once again aware of his arousal pressing insistently between their bodies, a reminder that what they were doing was not innocent. It had consequences and no matter how good it felt, it couldn't be. Pulling away quickly, she rolled off of him, untangling their limbs as she went.

"Donna?" He panted, looking over at her as she sat on the bed with her back to him. 

She didn't respond. She had no idea what to say, but she knew she had to get out of there as soon as possible, or she would never have the will to leave. 

"Are you okay?" Still dazed, he pulled himself up so that he could sit next to her on the edge of the bed. "What's wrong?"

She forced a smile and met his eye. "I'm fine." She was still out-of-breath herself. "But we have to stop… you know that."

"Is that what you want?" Holding her gaze, he searched for answers in her eyes; he knew what he wanted.

She inhaled sharply, because she knew her answer to be a resounding ‘no.’ But she knew what she had to do, for both of their sakes. "Josh, it doesn't matter what I want. I have to go back to my own room now, before we do something we'll both regret." It took every ounce of strength and self-control she had, but she got up and started for the door.

"I wouldn't regret it." He followed her to the door.

"You would. You don’t know what you want right now." Standing in front of the door, she turned to face him.

"I want you." His voice was low and he stared intently into her eyes.

She faltered for a second, felled by his words and the intense look in his eye. He took the opportunity. Moving swiftly, he leaned down and took possession of her lips once again. Her body responded, even as her mind screamed objections. Her hands found his waist while his fingers fanned across her cheeks and neck, gently pulling her closer. She felt herself being carried away again; it felt so good, he felt so good. 

Then she heard CJ's voice echoing through her mind. 'If you want to be taken seriously at this level, you can't sleep with your boss… he's vulnerable right now. He might not be thinking clearly.' That was all it took. 

"We can't." She pulled away from him, once again panting.

"Why?" He groaned.

"I work for you!"

"I know. We're on a campaign to elect the next President. Cool, isn't it?"

"Josh!" Horrified, she thought back to the day she'd hired herself, and what he'd told her. 'This is a campaign to elect the President, and there's nothing I take more seriously than that.' Now he was joking about it. This was not good; she was making him lose focus. She tried another tack. "You have a girlfriend!" 

That was the splash of cold water he needed. He rubbed his neck, thinking that Mandy could take the joy out of every situation. The fact was that he had already moved on from that relationship in his head. As far as he was concerned, they were broken up. However, he did understand that he actually needed to let her know that before people would consider him single… and by people, he meant Donna. Screw worrying about doing it over the phone; he would call her first thing in the morning.

"I should go to my room." He nodded and followed her out into the hall. She'd only made it a couple of steps when he called out to her. "Donnatella…" Shaking slightly, she turned to face him for what she knew would be the last time. "'Night, I'll see you in the morning."

CJ was right. Maybe she wasn't sleeping with Josh, but she wanted to… she wanted to really badly. And tonight she almost had. She turned, her heart already breaking in two. "Goodnight, Joshua."

~~~~~~~~~~~FLASH~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Yes, I remember all that." That night was something he hadn't allowed himself to think about in a very long time. "Well, most of that. I could still throttle CJ for saying those things to you, but what I don't remember… what I never knew, is what happened after you left my room that night? Why did you leave? What could Dr. Freeride possibly have offered you to get you to go back to him?" 

"Does it matter anymore, Josh?" Donna fought to maintain control of her emotions. Dredging up these memories was far from easy for her. In the beginning, right after she'd left, fits of tears were not uncommon. But she'd always felt she made the right decision, for both of them… now, looking at him, she wasn't so sure. And that just made it worse.

"It matters to me. Do you know how I felt when I got your letter? When I figured out you'd really left? I felt horrible. Like some horrible sexual harasser guy." He didn't mention the part about his broken heart, the one that had never really mended.

"I'm sorry." She looked down as she felt the tears well behind her eyes.

"Donna, you don't have to apologize to me… I'm not after an apology. I want an explanation."

She looked back up at him, and finally, he saw the tears starting to roll down her face. "Please, Josh, do we have to do this all in one night? I promise I'm not leaving… I just…"

Remorse for pushing her began to wash over him. He nodded and swallowed hard before finding his voice. "I'm sorry. Of course…" He searched for something for her to wipe her eyes with. If he were Leo, he'd have had a handkerchief on the ready. As it were, he settled on some cocktail napkins. 

She spent a few moments collecting her emotions and dabbing at her eyes with the napkins. Watching him look at her with worry, she decided she had to give him something. "What I can say is that those six weeks…" Pushing her hair behind her ear, she inhaled deeply and glanced down at the table. "The six weeks I spent on the campaign… the six weeks I spent with you…" She blinked for a long second and then met his eye. "They were the best of my entire life."

Josh was surprised; that wasn't what he’d expected her to say. Her confession also left him a little breathless. A small smile curved his lips, and he shouted down the urge to once again ask her why, if it was the best time of her life, she had left.

"And I never thought of you as a sexual harasser." She reached across the table to squeeze his hand. "I was 50% of that kiss."

Grateful for the lightening of the mood, he smirked at her. "Well, you were more like 55% of the kiss. You were quite the aggressor, considering the way you played the young, innocent card all over the place." 

Now she gave a sharp swat to the hand she had just been caressing. "I was not the aggressor!"

"Maybe not on the second kiss, but you were on the first." 

"Was not!" 

"You leaned in." He sat back, looking smug.

"I didn't." 

"You did and I haven't even brought up your number one seduction tool."

"What was that?" She sounded intrigued and suspicious at the same time.

"You in that sexy getup." 

"My dress?" Her heart clenched, she knew that dress was too revealing for a fund raiser!

"No, that was good, but the other one."

"What other one?" She asked with confusion.

"You know, the seduction pajamas."

She flashed back to that night and then knit her brows together. "My flannel cow pajamas?"

"Yes."

"They were not sexy!"

He delighted in watching her, one eyebrow raised and a smile curving one side of his mouth. For a moment, he'd forgotten all the heaviness surrounding them and was just enjoying teasing her and her playful indignation as they bantered. "Very sexy. You were like some sort of dairy vixen in them."

"A dairy vixen?"

"Yes."

"Such a thing exists?"

"In my head it does."

"They weren't… I wasn't… I was purposely ridiculous!" But she laughed as she said it, a laugh that was immediately followed by an involuntary yawn.

"You're tired."

"It's been a long week," she allowed, still trying to fight the blush she felt working over her skin as they talked so freely about the kiss… well, kisses… they'd shared. Not to mention the whole dairy vixen thing.

He studied her for a moment, and then decided there was time. Time to figure out what in the hell had happened four and a half years ago that had taken her out of his life. Pushing her would no good, especially when she was tired. "We should call it a night."

He walked her the three blocks to her hotel and they parted on separate, if amiable, terms. As Josh stood and watched her disappear into the hotel lobby, his heart expanded and felt full of life, more than it had at any point since that morning oh-so-long ago. But he instantly deflated when he thought of that letter and the man she'd left him for, a man that apparently she was still with.


	5. Upside of Evil, The

~EARLY THURSDAY MORNING~

Josh couldn't sleep. He could toss, he could turn, his mind could-- and did-- race a thousand miles a minute… but he couldn't sleep. That night in Atlanta all those years ago played itself over and over in his mind; moreover, a feeling of foreboding nagged at him. It had hurt him when she'd left. Deeply. And now she'd only been back one day and already was all he could think about. She did something to him; just being around her altered him in some way. And it wasn't just that she was entirely too beautiful for words; it was deeper than that. So why was this happening now? Why was she suddenly front and center in his life? 

From time to time, he'd fantasized about running into her, about looking her up in Chicago. But her showing up in such a large way? Without any effort on his part? It was true that Washington was a small town and politics an even smaller business, but the more restless he grew, the less sold he was that it could be a coincidence. 

Something didn't add up, so Josh decided he had to do something that he really didn't want to do. As soon as the sun was up, he would make a phone call to the last person in Washington he wanted to talk to, and demand answers.

***

"…I wanted to bring in someone fresh to handle this. I was looking at several candidates, mostly from our satellite offices around the country. So there I was, considering four very qualified women… when what do I stumble across in one of the files, but a letter of recommendation from you."

Josh's heart constricted in his chest to half its normal size. The letter. He had almost forgotten writing that letter. Almost. He snorted defensively. "So I wrote a letter. What's the big deal?"

"It's not a big deal. You're the one calling me and asking why she was brought to D.C."

"You brought her here now, because of a letter from over two years ago?" His voice was incredulous.

"Oh, J, grow up and use that world-class political mind that I know you have." She held the phone between her shoulder and ear as she futzed with her running shoes. "Don't tell me that if you were in my shoes, that letter wouldn't have tipped the scales. In the time I've known you, I wouldn't have thought that you'd write a letter of recommendation for your own mother. So when one of my candidates to lobby the White House has a glowing letter in her file written by you? Boom. Decision made." Her voice took on a sarcastic edge. "Or would you prefer a letter of recommendation that you write, carry no weight?"

He ignored her tone. "So she wouldn't be here without that letter."

She sighed, feigning exhausted at the conversation for Josh's benefit. The last thing she wanted was for him to think he was being purposefully manipulated, he might lean hard and fast in the other direction. "Not necessarily, the letter just made it a no-brainer. She's young, but I'd already gotten impressive reports of her work successfully lobbying the Illinois State Legislature. And did you know she did her thesis on the effect of Roe and abortion policy on minority women in urban areas with a population over one million? Very impressive. Why are you going on about this; do you have a problem with her?"

"No… no, of course I don't have a problem with her." Josh couldn't see the triumphant smile spread across Amy's face. "She's very convincing… doing a great job with your message. It's not a big deal. In fact… why don't you forget I called?"

She gave a satisfied grunt. "Already done."

"Great. See ya," Josh finished before flipping his phone shut.

***

Josh paced back and forth in front of his desk. Donna's presence wasn't a coincidence. Amy had chosen her specifically, because somehow she knew she could get to him. However, Amy was right. It was exactly what he would have done. 

Toby stood in Josh's door, watching him lap back and forth several times before speaking. "So I just talked to Lily Mayes. Apparently some people from the WRC have a meeting with Mrs. Bartlet today… know anything about it?" 

Josh looked up, startled, and stopped his route short. "Huh?"

"Lily says that you mentioned to the First Lady yesterday how the WRC was coordinating a million women march for choice."

"Yeah, so?"

"So you knew mentioning it to her would get her all energized, and she'd jump right into the middle of the cause."

"I did."

"Are you going soft?"

"Soft?" Josh quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah."

"What the hell you talking about, Toby?" Josh's voice held menace. It was one thing for Josh to question himself, but he wasn't ready to hear it from anyone else.

"I thought that because it's your ex-assistant, on whom you had a crush, lobbying you… that maybe you've gone soft." Josh just glared at him, so Toby pushed forward. "Are you? Are you giving her one? A win you wouldn't give to someone else? Because I know you like her and want her to succeed, but it's-"

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Toby," Josh interrupted hotly. "For the record, I want to win this election just as badly as you do… I told Mrs. Bartlet to get them to re-focus their efforts from a single march to voter registration drives all over the country. Rallies galvanized by freedom of choice, with the aim of registering a million new voters. They commit to funding and coordinating the drives state by state, focusing on young women on college campuses and minority women in urban areas, as the registration deadlines come to pass. We do our part by the First Lady, Zoey, and possibly Liz and Annie attending some of them, especially the first few, and CJ talking about it from the podium every day. It's win-win. We can say our support is all about reaching out to disenfranchised citizens and bringing them into the process, and the WRC gets to scare the hell out of every Republican in Congress with a whole lot of ruckus and the threat of a million newly-registered voters that won't cast a single vote their way, based on this one issue." 

Toby just stared at him.

"And also, Toby, Mrs. Bartlet had her mind made up about her stance on abortion before yesterday… it hasn't changed because the WRC is gearing up. You think they put this issue front and center and this First Lady is going to stay on the sidelines, no matter what I say or do?" Josh glared at him pointedly.

"No."

Josh continued to glare, anger still radiating off of him after Toby's accusation. He'd spent every waking hour on this campaign, serving this President; he would not tolerate a question of his competence or loyalty. Even if a doubt niggled in his own mind that his involvement had something to do with Donna. "No?"

"No," Toby repeated more emphatically.

"Good. Then get the hell off my back about Donna."

"So I guess that's a no, then?"

"What?" Josh looked at him, confused.

"No, you're not going soft."

Sam poked his head in at that moment. "Hey, guys."

Josh didn't turn; he was still staring Toby down. "Hey, Sam… are you also here to accuse me of going soft in the last 24 hours because of some non-existent crush on Donna?"

"What?" Sam looked bewildered. "No, I was coming in to say that I think your million new voter rally thing is brilliant and that it might very well be the benchmark idea of the campaign. Lily asked me to sit in on the meeting with the First Lady."

Josh turned to him and sounded relieved. "Thanks."

"Well, I guess my work is done." Toby looked at Josh curiously as he made his way to the door, throwing over his shoulder as he left, "It is a good idea, Josh." 

Sam looked from Toby's retreating form to Josh, who was still glaring after him. "What was that about? And what was the going-soft-because-of-Donna comment about?"

"Oh, he accused me of giving in to the WRC's agenda because of Donna."

"Are you?" Sam looked at him quizzically.

"You just said my idea is the benchmark of the campaign!"

"No, it's great. I just wonder if you would have come up with it had it not been for Donna."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"No, you're just not usually the idea guy, that's all. I was just curious."

Now it was Sam that Josh glared at.

"Don't get me wrong, you're the best strategist in the business and a world-class political operative, but…"

Josh relented and dropped into his chair. "Whatever… actually, I probably overreacted to Toby, because, well, I did get some disturbing news on that front."

"What?" Sam asked eagerly. Probably too eagerly, but Josh didn't notice.

"Amy hired Donna because of me."

"Because of you?" Sam was surprised, but not shocked. It had already occurred to him that it was all a bit of a coincidence.

Josh shook his head. "Not to say that she's not qualified, because she is… very... but…"

"What?" Sam questioned.

"I wrote Donna a letter of recommendation when she first applied for a position with the WRC in Chicago two years ago."

Now Sam really was shocked. "You what? How? Why? I didn't even know you were in contact with her…"

Josh sighed. "I wasn't. When I was recovering… that summer…" Sam nodded. "I was… restless, so one day I picked up the phone and called Mike Casper, and had everything on her in thirty minutes."

"Okay…" Sam looked at him oddly.

"What? I just wanted to know where she was and if she was okay."

"If you knew where she was because you had obviously wanted to know where she was, why didn't you contact her?"

"The report said she had graduated from college in record time—from her transcripts, she pretty much took a double load-- still making top honors, I might add-- and was about to start graduate school. I was really proud of her; I used to rib her that she was too smart not to go all the way in school… besides, she didn’t need to hear from some ex-boss who was spending the summer lying around incapacitated by a bullet wound."

"So you wrote a letter instead…"

"The report also said she had just applied for a job at the WRC, so I wrote a letter."

"And now…"

"Amy was considering several candidates, including Donna, but then found my old letter in Donna’s file and gave her the job."

"You're sure?"

"Called Amy this morning; she verified it herself."

"So?"

"She did it for a reason. What if it works? What if Toby is right and I go soft because of Donna?"

"I hate to be the one to break this to you, Josh, but it's already worked…"

Sam almost laughed at the look of horror on Josh's face.

"They are getting something they didn't even know they wanted, and more cooperation from us than they ever would have imagined." Josh slumped back as the truth hit him. "But it's great. You had a great idea-"

"Well, Donna pretty much planted the seed; I just ran with it."

"So… everyone wins. You make a good team." Sam studied him closely. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I think… I had drinks with her last night."

"Amy?"

"No! Are you crazy? Donna."

Sam chuckled. "Right, I guessed that… just wanted to see you react. So, you didn't tell us yesterday that after you barely recognized her at lunch, you made plans for later."

"Yeah, I lied. I recognized her. And we made plans… to talk."

"So… how did it go? I'm guessing not well…"

"No, it went fine. She got a little weepy on me, but that was my fault; I was… pressing her. Anyway, there's something I never told you."

"What?"

"The night before she left, during the campaign…" Sam nodded easily, recently having re-lived the memory. "Well, something happened between us." Sam cocked an eyebrow at him. "I sort of… we… I kissed her that night…"

Sam tried not to show his shock, which was easier than expected because he didn’t really find the revelation all that shocking. While he'd had no idea that anything like that had actually happened, the concept of them kissing after the way they'd danced that night was not exactly outrageous. He was entirely too curious about what else had happened, but one look at Josh told him the third degree wasn't the way to go right now. So he settled on humor. 

"And she didn't like it?"

Josh scowled at him. "No! I mean, yes… I mean, of course she liked it. Why wouldn't she like it? Why would you ask that?" Then he looked thoughtful. "Ya' think she didn't like it?"

"I don't know." Sam shrugged noncommittally. "Did she seem like she liked it?"

Josh considered this. "Yeah, she seemed to like it a whole lot. I mean, really like it."

"So why did she leave?" Sam asked, trying not to come off as invasive or pushy.

"I still don’t know. That's when she got emotional, so we tabled the conversation."

"So is there anything still there, you think?" Sam asked nonchalantly.

"No. I mean, that's ancient history, and you know she has that boyfriend in Chicago, so there's really no point." His chest tightened at the thought.

"Well, if you want my advice… if there's a chance that something is still there, screw the boyfriend. He's not here, you are. Fight for her."

"Fight for her?" 

"Yeah, why not?" Sam asked without flinching. Part of him was starting to feel a little guilty about the boyfriend lie, but his plan appeared to be working, so he didn't come clean. "I gotta run; I have a thing in the Roosevelt Room." 

Josh watched him leave his office. He knew 'why not', mostly because he knew something Sam didn’t. Or at least, he thought he did. Josh was under the assumption that the identity of the boyfriend was the same as it had been four years before. The man Donna had already left him for once. He was fairly certain that wasn't a contest he wanted to lose twice. Nope, Donna Moss had walked out of his life four and a half years ago, and that was the way it would stay.

Nevertheless, he hit the intercom button to his assistant. He hated the intercom, but most of his assistants wouldn’t respond to yelling. "Can you get Donna Moss at the WRC for me? Thank you." And then he sat, waiting for his phone to ring back.

***

"So we need to find a million women to march on Washington before the election?" Amy Gardner said as Gwen and Donna walked into her office.

"Appears that way," Gwen said as she glanced at Donna, their secret-- or maybe not-so-secret-- weapon.

"Okay, then. After our meeting with the First Lady, let's get everyone together and start calling our friends. We'll need to pull in every warm body we have."

There was a knock on the door and Amy's assistant entered. "Donna, Josh Lyman on the phone for you."

Donna glanced around nervously. She had no idea why he would be calling her this morning. They had left on good terms the evening before, so she couldn't imagine what he had to say to her now. She looked over at Amy. "I should probably take that?" It came out sounding like a question.

"Absolutely." Amy nodded.

"I'll be right back." Donna felt her stomach knot into tight little bundles at the thought of him.

"Can we have a meeting where we aren't interrupted by your getting a phone call from the White House?" Gwen called out with a laugh as Donna exited the room.

Gwen turned to her boss. "In your wildest dreams, did you think she was going to have this kind of success in less than a week?"

Amy just smiled slyly. "I must admit I'm impressed with her. She's bright."

"Yes, she's bright, but the White House is bending over backwards and I'm not sure why. Yes, Lyman obviously thought she was a good assistant or he wouldn’t have written that letter, but why everyone else?"

Amy looked like the cat that swallowed the canary.

Gwen eyed her suspiciously. "It took me three months to get us a meeting with Josh Lyman… all of a sudden Donna shows up, and he's calling us. What gives?"

With a smirk, Amy replied, "When you have an ace, you don't tip your hand."

Gwen just stared at her, not really impressed by Amy's secretive routine.

Her boss sighed, but seemingly acquiesced. "You know that I dated him, right?"

"Lyman? I heard something about it at the time, and you've mentioned it, but only in that you don't get along all that well."

"It was on and off, mostly off, for about nine months. And we don't get along. We respect and tolerate each other professionally, but it's strained… which is the reason I needed a fresh face on this in order to be effective. If I'd walked into that meeting, he would have pretended to listen for 15 minutes, shown us the door, and that would have been it."

"Okay, but what does your dating him have to do with Donna?"

"I saw a picture once."

"A picture?"

"Actually, pictures. I didn't put two and two together until I went to Chicago for the face-to-face interview, but then the letter of recommendation made more sense and, frankly, it's why I sent her to the meeting on her first day."

"I did think you were throwing her in awfully fast. What was this picture… or pictures? Something scandalous?" Gwen's eyes were wide.

Amy laughed, but shook her head. "No, not at all. Once when we were dating, near the end, I was at his apartment and was looking for something—I don't even remember what. I opened his nightstand and there they were."

Gwen's attention was rapt; she was anxious to hear how this all tied together.

"There were maybe a dozen in total-- photos of my then-boyfriend and some young blonde. Several of them had more people, people I recognized like Sam & CJ Cregg, even one with the President, but the common theme was that the blonde was in all of them. Very cozy… and Josh looking— well, let's just say he never looked at me the way he was looking at her in some of those photos. 

She took a sip of her coffee before continuing. "There were a few random ones, typical campaign trail stuff-- the two of them conked out on a bus, that type of thing. But most seemed to have been taken the night of some black-tie event. Now mind you, at this point I'd been dating him for a significant amount of time and I doubted that he owned even one photo of me, which he certainly didn't have stashed in a safe place right next to his bed."

"So the blonde was Donna?" Gwen surmised.

Amy nodded her head. "The thing is, from things he'd said, I was pretty sure he was dating Mandy Hampton at the time those photos were taken. But the blonde was definitely not her. Naturally, I recognized her the second she walked into the interview. And even though I didn't know the exact nature of their relationship, I knew that the letter, combined with the photos… that, well, we'd struck gold when it came to an in with the Deputy Chief of Staff's office."

"As far as I can tell from talking to Donna, all of this would be news to her."

Amy nodded. "Even better. He's a grown man with some unrequited crush on her and she has no idea."

Gwen wasn’t sure what to think. It was one thing to play on Donna's having worked for these people, but this was a little too invasive for her taste. Still, she liked her job and so she kept her mouth shut. Nevertheless, she wondered if the woman before her had an ulterior motive. Did she feel animosity towards Donna? Trying to sound nonchalant, she asked, "You weren't jealous?"

Amy snorted. "As much as we both said we wanted something more, the relationship was pretty much for convenience—sex and someone to be seen with at social occasions. Besides, it was pretty much over at that point. At the time, I actually thought it might explain some things. Josh was not… open."

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she remembered her time with Josh. The moment she'd seen the photos she knew the relationship would never go anywhere, no matter what illusions she might have had at one time. "He was never really available, always holding a part of himself back. When I looked at the photos in that nightstand, I wondered if that part belonged to the blonde. Because not only did he have no photos of me, I never saw one of him with any of the myriad of women he's dated, not anywhere. Just Donna. In any case, it was only a few weeks later that we butted heads over welfare and… well, he won, and I… switched jobs, and that was the end. No regrets and I'm with John now."

Gwen was satisfied with that answer, but still, the ethics of the situation niggled her. "Don't you… doesn't this feel… wrong? Using this information to further our agenda?"

"If Josh has been pining for this young woman for the last four years, I've just done him the biggest favor of his life by bringing her back into his orbit. As for her, she's bright and motivated and is getting the professional opportunity of a lifetime. My conscience is clear."

"So, in your mind you've justified that this is all upside for both of them?" Gwen questioned with a forced smile. "You're a little evil you know?"

Amy only responded with a hearty laugh.

Gwen had only known Donna for the past week, but she already liked the younger woman tremendously. She would hate to see her get hurt in some D.C. power play. But she had been highly effective in engendering cooperation from the White House, and stopping the Right to Life bill from coming to a vote was more important than anything. Still, Gwen would keep an eye on things.

***

Donna's hand faltered just as she was about to pick up the phone. Steeling herself with a deep breath, she brought the handset to her ear. In her most polished, professional voice, she answered, "Donna Moss."

"Ms. Moss, this is Scott from Josh Lyman's office I'll put him through." 

As she waited, Donna rolled her eyes at herself, and at the hesitation she'd had picking up the phone. Of course he wouldn't dial himself. If he was anything like he'd been on the campaign trail, he wouldn’t even know how to get an outside line. The thought made her smile.

The wait wasn't long. "Donna?" The way he said her name was normal-- the way she assumed he would say anyone's name in greeting on the phone-- but even so, it made her stomach flip-flop.

"Josh, long time, no talk," she smarted. What in the heck had possessed her to be so flip? She cringed at herself and blamed it on the flip-flopping.

Josh sat for a second. From her cheeky tone, she was obviously much less affected by him than he was by her. Yeah, fighting for her was out of the question. He ignored the pang that thought sent to his gut and immediately got down to business. "Listen, I've had a couple of ideas on your march…" 

***

As soon as she was off the phone, Donna returned to the Director’s office to find both women looking at her expectantly. 

She swallowed hard. Everything was happening so fast. "That was Josh." She felt a little rush as she said his name.

"Right. What did he want?" Amy asked without humor.

"To tell me that the First Lady is going to propose a change…" Donna outlined Josh's entire voter registration rally proposal.

After she finished, she looked back and forth expectantly between Amy and Gwen.

"I love it," Amy said. "It has the potential to accomplish our goal and help Democrats get elected across the board, while raising the profile of us and this issue."

"So what do we do?" Gwen and Donna looked at her.

"We still start calling our friends, except now we do it before the meeting."


	6. Upside of Evil, The

"What's going on?" Josh asked as he entered Leo's office.

"This was your idea?" Leo inspected his deputy.

"What?"

"This cockamamie idea to try and register a million new voters before the election?"

"Yeah." 

"The President and First Lady love it."

"But you don't?"

"I'm fine with it. Especially since we don’t have to pay for a thing. Just lend a little lip service."

Josh looked at Sam. "How'd the meeting go?"

"Great, except I don't think the WRC was taken by surprise that the First Lady had a different proposal for them."

"No, I gave Donna a heads-up this morning, so she wouldn't be blindsided."

"Well, they came in with the support of the twelve largest pro-choice women's groups in the country. They're having a meeting to plan their entire strategy this weekend in New York."

"Really. They moved fast." Josh was surprised, even though he shouldn't have been. He knew how Amy operated.

"Yes, they did," Leo agreed with a sigh. 

"You have to in an election year," Josh conceded.

"I know. I want you to go."

"What?" Josh looked startled.

"You. This meeting in New York, I want you there. They’re planning a strategy and I want you to help them. I want the twelve largest women's groups in the nation to know that the White House is serious in its support."

"You want me to go to a conference full of women and tell them what to do." No doubt about it… Josh Lyman looked frightened.

"It’s political strategy and you're the best. They'll be glad for your advice."

Josh looked anything but sure.

***

"How in the hell did I get roped into this?" Josh asked Sam as they walked back towards the bullpen.

"I suggested it."

"What? Why? Why would you do that to me?"

"Because we have to send someone. Because it was your idea and it was a good one. This is exactly the kind of energizer we need to fire up Democrats and shake off the apathy in the party… besides, Donna is spearheading the entire thing, and I think she could use your help."

"Not my job to help her."

"Yes, but it is your job to get us re-elected. And this was your idea."

"Right." Josh sighed. "So what's the deal?"

"Well, they’re obviously still pinning down the details, but it sounded like they’re going to meet all day Saturday. Leo thinks you ought to go up Saturday night so you can be briefed on where they stand and what their resources are, and then meet with them Sunday to help with strategy and to show White House support."

"And I'm to go to New York?" A weekend. In New York. With Donna. Not with Donna, to see Donna. Sort of. To work with her. At the very least, Donna would be there. His mind was reeling in a thousand different directions.

"Yes."

"Great," he grumbled as he peeled off in the direction of his office, not quite as upset as he tried to appear.

Shaking his head, Sam watched him go with a very self-satisfied expression.

"Why looking so smug?" CJ asked suspiciously as she sidled up beside him.

"Score one for the harebrained matchmaking scheme." 

"What have you done?" 

"Not what I've done, what Josh has done. Josh is headed to New York on Saturday to meet with the Choice Coalition, and Donna is his contact."

"So basically our re-election effort is just one big ploy to unite the Deputy Chief of Staff with his former campaign aide?"

"Don't you think the voter registration drive is a good idea?" Sam looked at her quizzically.

"No." She shook her head resolutely and Sam turned to study her. "It's a great idea."

Sam nodded once; that was more like it. "Josh's idea. Inspired, it seems, by Donna."

"Great, so you can tell him she's single now… it sounds like they are doing just fine on their own."

"Ooooooh, no."

"What do you mean, 'no?"

"Think of it in terms of wildlife, CJ."

"Wildlife?" She snorted skeptically.

"He's still a yearling, not yet ready to go out into the forest alone. He needs coaxing to open himself up to her. If he thought she was single, he would be telling himself that she'd lost her chance and holding himself at arm’s length. But since he thinks she's unavailable, he's moping around, wishing he had a second chance."

"I haven't seen him mope."

"Oh, he's moping. On the inside."

CJ chuckled and rolled her eyes. "You're either an idiot or brilliant, Samuel."

"I know."

***

~ FRIDAY NOON~

"Knock, knock."

Startled, Josh looked up from the list of voter registration deadlines he was studying. His heart slammed against his chest at the sight of her standing in his office door.

"I was… uh… meeting with the First Lady's staff, and I thought I'd… uh… stop by." When he still didn't say anything, she continued. "Your assistant was headed to lunch but said you had a few minutes."

He just stared at her. Donna was in his office. The truth was that there were still so many things he wanted to ask her, but at the moment, he was just overwhelmed by her presence. All he could think was that she was really pretty. Had she always been so pretty? He knew the answer to that. Yes, she had.

When he didn't respond, she started to fidget under his scrutiny. "If this is a bad time, I can-"

"She likes to take a lot of personal time," Josh blurted nonsensically.

"What? Who?"

"My assistant," he mumbled.

Donna studied him oddly. "Um, Josh, your assistant is a man."

Josh crinkled his brow. "Right. Of course. Stu."

"Scott," Donna corrected him, sounding puzzled. She knew he was a brilliant man, but how does a brilliant man not know the name or even gender of his assistant?

"Scott, of course." Josh waved it off; he looked at her and tried to sound normal. "What can I do for you?"

"I… uh…" She found herself stammering in the face of his direct gaze. "I have some details on New York for you, but if it's a bad time, I can have someone from the office type them up this afternoon and fax them over."

"No." His voice squeaked as he was flooded with an urgent desire to keep her there, keep her in his company. "Now is fine. I was actually just going to walk to the mess to grab lunch. Do you… uh…"

"Do I…?" She looked at him expectantly.

"Would you like to join me? We can discuss…" He nodded towards the notes in her hand.

She felt uncontrollably nervous. He was being polite enough, but they'd stopped their discussion the other night before they'd really gotten to the heart of the matter-- the reason she'd left without a word. That was one discussion she would be okay with never having. So while it was one thing to stand safely in his office doorway and go over a few details, lunch, even in the White House Mess, made her much more vulnerable. However, she nodded her assent.

***

"So this is the Mess?" She looked around in wonder. It wasn't all that impressive. Even so, it was in the White House, which meant that it automatically awed her. 

"Yeah."

"It's… nice. Actually, the whole building is amazing." 

"Maybe if you hadn't left, you would have worked here with me." His voice was quite as he poked at his turkey sandwich; he wasn't quite sure what had possessed him to make such an observation.

She stiffened instantly at his words, and once again felt roll over her the shame of leaving the way she did. This was a bad idea. She couldn’t do it. She couldn't work with him. Her voice was terse as she responded, "With all due respect, you don't know whether your assistant is a man or a woman, and you have a reputation for going through employees. I highly doubt that I would have lasted."

"Not employees." His voice was a bit raspy, so he cleared his throat.

"What?"

This time he looked up and met her eye. "Not employees, I don't have trouble finding and keeping employees…" His voice emphasized the end of the word. "Just assistants. I'm not sure why there isn't a decent one in all of the district."

"Well, at this point, I doubt I'd still be your assistant. I have a master's degree." Her voice was proud, but she groaned inwardly as soon as she said it. It wasn’t in her nature to brag in any situation, so why she was doing so in front of a man who had degrees from the two most prestigious universities in the country? She didn't know, other than that she felt a fierce desire to impress him. To let him know she'd made something of her life, that she'd taken his advice about finishing school. 

Josh smiled slightly. "Sam told me," he fudged. Sam had told him, but that wasn't how he knew. "Northwestern is a good school."

"It is." She was still tense, and it was evident in the way she responded.

"Chicago is nice. Did you like it?"

He was making small talk now? She narrowed her eyes, but concentrated on spearing a piece of lettuce with her fork. "Loved it. It's a wonderful city and has a little bit of everything."

"I'm thinking of moving there," he blurted, not sounding at all casual. What was he doing? He hadn't told a soul that he was quitting his job. However, since the moment he'd set eyes on her, the exhaustion and feeling of severe burnout had lessened considerably. Looking back, he was surprised to realize he hadn't thought any more about his decision to resign.

"Really? When?" A look of horror crossed her fine features. She scrunched up her nose in an irresistible way that stirred a long-lost longing in Josh's soul. She glanced at the tables near them and lowered her voice. "You think we're going to lose."

"We?" He asked with a small smile.

"I'm a Democrat and I support the President." A sheen of defiance crept over her.

At those words, he felt a welling of… something… in his chest. Guilt, maybe. But just because he was leaving… or thinking about leaving-- no, he was leaving. His decision was made. Still, that didn't mean he didn't support the President. "No, actually I don't think we're going to lose. It's a dogfight. But I don't think we're going to lose."

She looked at him quizzically. "Then Chicago… when…"

He shook it off. He should not be confiding things in a woman he barely knew. Even though it might feel like he knew her, he realized that was false. The woman in front of him was a total stranger, regardless of whether she felt like one. 

"I've been thinking about resigning as soon as the election is over." So much for barely knowing her. But he wanted to tell someone. Wanted to tell her.

"What?!" Donna's hand flew to cover her mouth. "Why?"

"I don't know. Burned-out, I guess."

"What will you do?"

He sighed. "Realistically… probably stay right where I'm at until Bartlet is out of office."

"But you want to leave? It's your decision-"

He interrupted, recognizing what she was asking. "Yes, I’m not being forced out."

"This job was your dream… I remember that much."

"Dreams change."

With a furrowed brow, she watched him. That was about the last thing she'd ever expected him to say. "I… uh, can't imagine you not working in politics."

"Who says I'd leave politics?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but promptly closed it again. He was considering leaving the White House and had considered moving to Chicago? What did that mean?

"It's just a thought, and I'd appreciate if you didn't… mention it to anyone." She quickly nodded in tacit agreement. "So where were we?" Indicating that the conversation was over, he motioned to her notes.

"This weekend."

"Right." Josh nodded, once again trying to suppress a smile. "So you all are going to get your ducks in a row on Saturday, and then you and I'll meet on Saturday night to start hashing out a 50-state strategy?"

"No." The word was out of her mouth before she could stop it. It surprised her a bit—after all, that was, in fact, the plan. But she couldn’t meet with him. He made her feel unsettled, discombobulated. Dizzy, even. She was a different person now than the girl who had spent six weeks volunteering for Bartlet for America, and she couldn’t just go back and change the past. Staying away from him was the best way to keep it all buried; the best way to deter the many questions he still obviously had. And staying away from him was the best way to avoid opening old wounds, especially if he might be leaving DC in two months.

"That's not the plan?" He asked slowly as he set his sandwich back on his plate.

She thought quickly. "I'm only in my first week in the big leagues. That meeting will be full of the most pre-eminent feminists and pro-choice activists in the country."

"Exactly." At that thought, Josh winced as if in pain. "Which is why I would prefer to meet with you."

Donna wasn't sure how to take that, so she just plowed ahead. "But my boss will want someone more experienced on it. I'm sure you'll be meeting with her instead." It was a lie. The director had already specifically told her this morning that her role in New York would be to liaise with the White House representative. Who, she'd found out a bit later, just happened to be Josh Lyman. However, if Amy Gardner only knew the truth of their strained dynamic, she wouldn't want Donna anywhere near him. 

Now Josh was full-out grimacing. "Your director is Amy Gardner."

"Yes," Donna answered resolutely.

"And I'll be meeting with her instead of you?"

She nodded and tried to keep her voice steady, strong and professional. "I'm just here to give you the schedule."

Disappointment reverberated through Josh. However, he wasn't sure that this wasn't a very good thing. Because while it was certainly true that he had no desire to do any sort of business with Amy, it was also true that he was slightly relieved. Being in Donna's presence was turning him inside out; he was inexplicably drawn to her. It was something that made no sense to him; they shared something… a connection… something he'd never experienced with another person. A connection that made it seem like he'd known her for years, when the amount of time they'd actually spent together was so small. It was what he'd felt on the campaign four and a half years earlier… a primal pull. But she'd left him. To go back to some loser who had treated her like crap, a man she was apparently still with. In Donna Moss' eyes, a freeloading loser was better than he was. He thought he'd put all of that pain behind him, and behind him was probably where it should stay.

A cold, impersonal look stole over him. "Well, then, perhaps it's best that… Sam… is going to New York instead of me. That works out well, as Amy and I rarely see eye-to-eye. Why don't you give me the logistics so I can pass them on to him, and then we'll go our separate ways?"

She felt empty at his sudden impersonal façade. Donna swallowed hard, but nodded. That was for the best. 

They finished their business quickly and, when they were done, started readying themselves to leave. As Donna was neatly placing her notes in her briefcase, she scowled at his plate. "Aren't you going to finish your fruit?"

"My fruit?"

"Yeah, your fruit. It's good for you."

He studied her oddly.

"What?" She questioned at his undisguised scrutiny.

"When we had lunch the other day, when you changed my order to fish…"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you do that?"

"Fish is better for you than red meat."

"Sure. But I've been thinking about it, and I don't remember you caring what I ate when we were on the campaign. What gives?"

"Oh… well… I guess…" She blushed hotly, but then tried to recover. "Everyone should eat healthily."

"But you changed my lunch order then and now you're nagging me to finish my fruit. Fruit which I only got because you switched it with the potato chips I originally had on my tray."

"That's not normal?"

"Donna?" He studied her intently. She was fidgeting slightly, which only heightened his curiosity.

"What?"

"Why? Why all the concern about my diet?"

One look at him and she knew he wasn't going to let it go. The man was intense; she remembered that. If he wanted something, he usually got it. So she relented. "I read…" She took a deep breath and tried to sound casual. "I read an article in _Time_ magazine once; it must have been one that talked about your health and recovery. I think I remember something about how you had to watch your diet much more carefully than someone of the same age and general health, due to your injuries from the shooting. It must have stuck with me."

He just watched her, his mouth gaping slightly.

Under his staggered yet direct gaze, she swallowed hard and looked to the exit. "Thanks for your time today, Josh, and for…uh… lunch." He'd insisted on paying once again. "I'm sure you… or Sam… or whoever comes this weekend is going to come up with a great plan for the rallies. We really appreciate your cooperation."

And with that she headed towards what she hoped was the exit, her heart heavy with sadness because she assumed she was also walking out of his life for the second time.


	7. Upside of Evil, The

"Gwen, do you have a minute?" Even if it was Sam who was now going to New York on behalf of the West Wing, she still felt compelled to disclose that she might not be the most objective person to handle the meeting.

"Sure, Donna, come in. Are you all packed for the weekend? We leave in just a few hours."

Donna nodded quickly. "I'm good, but this weekend is what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Okay, go ahead."

"I'm not sure I… I know I was assigned to be the West Wing liaison, but I'm not sure I'm the best person for the job."

"Oh… why not? You've done a fantastic job dealing with the White House so far. I'm sure we wouldn’t have gotten this far without you." Taking into consideration what Gwen had learned from Amy in the last day, it was an understatement, to say the least.

"Wouldn't it be better if it were someone more experienced, like you or… or the Director herself? This is still my first week."

"So far you’ve proven you're more than up to the job."

"It's probably not in the WRC's best interest to have me in that position," Donna stated bluntly, feeling herself grow more desperate. "I don't want to put this agenda at risk."

"How would you be doing that?" 

She took a deep breath before asking, "You know I worked for him?"

"Yes." Gwen was determined to let on nothing more.

"Well, when I left the campaign, it was sudden. Very sudden. I left a note, actually, in the middle of the night. I'm not sure he's ever forgiven me for being… unprofessional and not giving proper notice." 

"I don't think he holds that against you professionally, Donna," the other woman said kindly. 

"With all due respect, how can you be so sure? I just wouldn’t want something this important to be jeopardized because I made a hasty decision when I was 24 years old and left a bad impression on our contact."

Gwen walked slowly to her credenza and pulled out a copy of the letter. "I think you should read this."

"What is it?"

Gwen came to stand in front of her, holding the piece of paper. "Did you know anything about a letter of recommendation in your file?"

Donna quickly shook her head. 

"Sit down." Gwen steered her to one of the chairs in front of her desk before handing her the letter.

Donna obeyed, sitting down and then gingerly taking the piece of paper. What she read almost drove her to tears as her eyes traveled over the words. It was… indescribable. While the letter remained professional, it contained, by far, the nicest, most complimentary things anyone had ever said about her. All the things she’d hoped were true about her abilities were confirmed. It was beyond what she'd expect of anyone, except maybe her own mother. And this letter put even Marjorie Moss's power of hyperbole, when it came to her children, to shame. Not that she felt Josh lied in the letter; it was just so… effusive. 

Finally, Donna felt she could speak. She blinked to make sure that all remnants of unshed emotion were gone before looking up at Gwen. "Someone asked him about me when I was up for promotion?"

"Check the date again."

Donna looked down. The letter was written in June of 2000. She gasped in shock. "He wrote this… two years ago?"

"It appears so, when you first applied to the Chicago WRC office."

"But how… I… hadn't talked to him in years? I didn't even have him as a reference; how would anyone know to ask him about me?" Donna's mind was whirling and she felt almost woozy.

"I have no idea, other than that I think this letter came unsolicited."

"Unsolicited…" The word rolled off her tongue, which felt numb. What in the heck was going on? She looked at it one last time, and then reluctantly started to hand it back to Gwen.

"It's a copy, keep it." She waved her off. "But as you can see, I don't think you have to worry that Josh Lyman doesn't respect your… professionalism. He seems to admire and respect you a great deal. You must have really made an impact during those six weeks, and clearly are still the best person to liaise with the West Wing."

Josh had written her a letter of recommendation. Why? How? Her time on the campaign was something she didn't even put on her resume, and now it was responsible for the biggest break of her career. Or, more accurately, Josh Lyman was responsible for the biggest break of her career.

There was once again a huge lump in her throat. She had to get out of Gwen's office; she had no idea what to do with this information, other than to accept her charge. She would be the liaison to the White House, but suddenly found herself supremely disappointed that she would be dealing with Sam, and not Josh, this weekend. 

***

"What did you need, Josh?" Sam poked his head in Josh's door late Friday evening.

"I can't go to New York tomorrow; you gotta go and take the meeting."

"But it's your strategy; I don't know the first-"

"Right here." Josh picked up a portfolio from his desk. "Already mapped out, all you have to do is listen to Amy prattle on for 15 minutes Saturday and then amend it slightly to their resources Sunday. If they don't want to use it, they don’t have to. We've given them strategy and a presence. That's all we agreed to do."

"Amy?" Sam was still stuck on that detail.

"Apparently, Amy wants to do this herself. So please, you gotta go for me," Josh pleaded, and Sam almost felt sorry for him. Even to him, meeting with Amy instead of Donna was a whole heckuva lot less appealing, and he'd never had romantic feelings for either one of them.

"Sorry." Sam shook his head. "I'm finishing up remarks for about fifteen different campaign appearances next week." 

"Okay, then CJ can go."

"You know perfectly well that CJ is with the President in California tomorrow. They left two hours ago."

"Toby?"

"Yeah, right." Sam just snorted. "What's your problem; I thought you were all set to go."

Josh pushed his chair back and circled his desk. As he paced, he brought one hand up and rubbed his eyes roughly. "Donna stopped by…"

"She did?"

"For lunch and-"

Sam interrupted with a bit more excitement than he meant to show. "You had a lunch date?"

"No! No… it just timed out that we had a bite in the Mess. No big deal, but… she told me that Amy would be handling it, and I don't want to deal with Amy and it's… it's…” Josh raked his hand through his hair and exhaled. “I think… it’s best if I stay away from Donna, and even if I’m not meeting with her she'll still probably be in New York… at the same hotel."

"So you don't want to be around Donna?"

"Time to let the whole thing go." But his heart was heavy as he said the words.

"Okay, but you're still the only one who can go this weekend."

At that news, Josh sagged against the wall and Sam watched him with one eye as he started shuffling the papers he was carrying.

"You know what was weird?" Josh asked after a minute of softly banging the back of his head against his office wall.

"What?" Sam looked up from where he was pretending to organize his work. 

"She's been watching what I eat." Josh knew that talking about this was not letting it go, but he couldn't help himself.

"Who?"

"Donna."

"How do you mean?" Sam choked on a laugh. To his knowledge, they'd only been in each other's presence a mere handful of times in the last few days. 

"The other day at lunch she made me order fish; today it was fruit… so I called her on it."

"That is odd, but if I remember correctly, Donna had some eccentricities, so-"

"No, she admitted that she'd read about my health in an article. You know… after the shooting."

"Oh…" Sam's eyes went wide. 

"What do you think that means?"

"It could just mean that she has a subscription to some of the largest-circulation magazines in the country. There were a lot of articles about you."

"True, but it's a small detail to remember, don't ya' think? From a magazine article two years ago. And it wasn't like that angle was in all the articles; I really only remember _Time_ having a sidebar on the dietary considerations of someone who'd been through what I'd… been through."

"Yeah, it is." Sam looked at him directly. Sam was in Communications, was Josh's best friend, and he had no recollection of any sidebar. He hadn't even realized that Josh should be paying closer attention to what he ate because of the shooting. Apparently, she wasn't kidding when she said she'd kept up with them. "You know… when we had dinner with her, she mentioned that she saw your Capital Beat appearance a few weeks ago." Sam refrained from revealing that she'd mentioned Sam's appearance as well.

"What'd she say?" Josh asked too eagerly.

"That you looked tired."

Josh's face fell. "I am tired."

"So go to New York this weekend and relax a little. Maybe try and talk to Donna. I thought you were going to pursue something there. You should; she cares… about what you eat." Sam was grasping at straws now.

"The boyfriend, remember?"

"Yes, don’t you remember the whole 'fight for her' pep talk I gave you?"

"You don't understand, its Dr. Freeride." Just referring to him out loud made his gut twist. "The guy she… well, the guy she went back to. The reason she left the campaign." The reason she left me, he added silently.

Sam studied him for a moment, gauging his next move. "Did she say that?"

"No, we haven't talked about it. But who else could it be?"

"I don't know. Any one of a million guys? She's a very attractive woman, Josh." 

With narrowed eyes, Josh glared at him. It took everything Sam had not to laugh at his friend's sneer.

"It's not… Dr. Freeride… or whatever," Sam clarified hastily.

"How do you know that?"

"Well…" Sam swallowed, trying to find a way to assure Josh without making it seem like he had any sort of previous knowledge. "It just occurred to me that she mentioned something about him that might interest you."

"What?" Josh tried not to look _too_ interested. He failed.

"The other night at dinner, she admitted that she never went back to that doctor guy. She was never going to; she just told you that because it was the only thing she thought she could say to dissuade you from following her. Alright, I've really got to go now. Try and have fun in New York." 

Josh sat, unmoving, for a full minute after Sam left. 

He was shocked… she didn't go back to him? How was that possible? It was a truth he'd carried around with him for years: she'd left him to go back to her sleazy ex-boyfriend. How could it be that it had never been true? Why, then, had she left? And why hadn't she wanted him to follow her? Had he been too aggressive? Had she been scared of him? He didn't think so. It had happened so many years ago; maybe he remembered it as he wanted it to be and not as it was… except that the other night, she'd admitted to being 50% responsible for the kiss. And that it was the best six weeks of her life.

Now he had even more questions for Donna than before. She hadn't gone back to Freeride. Everything he'd thought about that time in his life was based on a lie. And the question of why just wouldn't go away. Plus, there was the fact that she seemed to be interested enough to follow him in the media. Did that make sense? He felt like his entire world had been lifted up and dumped on its head within the course of the last few days. 

***

~LATE SATURDAY AFTERNOON~

Donna pushed through the revolving door at the Essex House Hotel and with a sigh of relief, stepped out onto Central Park South. She loved New York. She didn't think she really wanted to live there, but it was definitely one of the greatest places in the world to visit. Her first real trip had been the Spring Break right before she graduated from UW. She, her mom, her sister, and her aunt had spent an amazing six days exploring all the city had to offer. 

Today the bustle of the city was actually a wonderful respite from the wheeling and dealing-- and sometimes screaming-- that she'd been sitting through all day. She'd been in meetings since 7am that morning, and her head was swimming. She'd never been through anything like it in her life. 12 different groups, over 70 representatives, with more conferences via phone-- everyone working towards the same goal, but with very different ideas of how to get there.

All day they'd haggled through hours of logistics, locations and resources. However, she really hoped that once Sam—she felt a pang of disappointment that it wouldn’t be Josh—got there tonight, that he would be the piece of the puzzle they needed to form a cohesive strategy. Frankly, she felt a little overwhelmed by the daunting task that loomed ahead. With so much to do and very little time to do it, it was much larger than anything in which she'd ever dreamed of playing a role. She'd taken a break when the current session had become a negotiation amongst the groups about whose name would be associated with what, and who would get the credit. While she understood that was important to each participant, she didn’t give a damn about their arguments, and she certainly didn't need them muddling her mind.

She'd been so caught up since yesterday afternoon in these meetings and the agenda that she hadn't had one spare moment in which to think about the letter. Well really think about it, as a concept it was never far from her mind. Something warm tightened around her heart, though, the moment she did allow herself to really think about it. From the date, she'd immediately realized that he'd written it while recovering from Rosslyn. But why? Why then? And how had he even known she'd applied for a job? And why, after leaving in the middle of the night in a completely unprofessional manner, had he gone out of his way to sing her professional praises?

She glanced to the left at Columbus Circle, and instantly decided to steer clear of that mess. With a deep breath, she instead crossed the street and headed into the park. She had 15 minutes before she was due back, and decided a quick walk would do her a world of good. Suffice it to say, her 15-minute walk was going to be entirely spent thinking about one Josh Lyman, and wishing he was the one who was coming to New York. 

Donna missed Josh crossing the sidewalk behind her and walking into the hotel by about 15 seconds. 

***

Josh had actually arrived at the hotel fairly early Saturday, so early that they hadn't had his room ready yet, but that was okay with him. Josh hadn't flown to New York hours earlier than expected in order to sit in his hotel room.

He'd spent much of the prior night once again tossing and turning, trying to make sense of what Sam had told him. Donna lied to him about her reason for leaving. Part of him had argued to let it go; it was all in the past, she'd had her reasons, and she left. End of story, move on. Another part argued to immediately call her at the hotel in New York and demand answers. 

As it was 3am, he decided on neither course of action. Instead, an outlandish and crazy scheme started to churn in his mind. He might take to heart Sam's advice to relax in New York and, for the first time in months, maybe he would take a day for himself. He had a pressing legislative agenda-- not to mention re-election concerns-- but frankly, there was nothing that couldn't wait until Monday. Besides, he’d worked till midnight the night before, and was working Saturday night and all day Sunday, so it wasn’t like anyone could rightly accuse him of slacking. He deserved a day off, and maybe a few hours of relaxation would re-charge him a bit. Or clear his mind in order to figure out Donna.

However, he was determined that his Saturday night work would be a five-minute meeting with Amy, and that the extent of his involvement would be handing her the portfolio containing the strategy he'd spent all day Friday working up. That way she could study it that night, and save any questions for him until the Sunday meetings he was slated to attend. He had no desire to spend one moment with her longer than necessary. Actually, Josh felt slightly hostile towards Amy, for stepping in and taking the meeting away from Donna. 

And his hostility was only partially due to the fact that he would much rather have been meeting with Donna. He was also incensed on Donna's behalf. She was doing a great job; none of this would even be happening without her, so there was no reason for Amy to pull her off the frontline. Actually, it was quite a strategic mistake on Amy's part. If she wanted his cooperation and help, and thus that of the White House, the last person she should have front and center dealing with him was herself. He’d thought she was smarter than that.

Apparently, though, she wasn't, so Josh's trip to New York was more than a nuisance than anything else. Except for the relaxation. And in pursuit of relaxation that morning, he'd taken the 9am shuttle to LaGuardia instead of the 4pm, as previously scheduled, and had just enough time to get into the city to stow his overnight bag and backpack at the hotel before heading back to Queens. 

By the luck of the schedule there was a 1:05 game at Shea Stadium. 

***

After the game, Josh rode the subway back into Manhattan. Smiling. He felt really good. The Mets had won and it had been a beautiful, lazy afternoon. Mostly clear blue sky and sunshine, but the August heat had taken a bit of a break and the temperature had hovered in the 80s, instead of near 100 where it had been for the last week. It occurred to him that if every once in a while, he'd take an afternoon off, perhaps he wouldn't be on the verge of quitting his job. And he had decided one thing about Donna during the course of the afternoon; he was going to sit her down and they were going to talk again. Soon. He had to know why she left. Why she'd really left.

He'd thought about her a lot that day. Even though they'd never done anything like take in a baseball game together, he was absolutely positive his afternoon would have been even better had she been with him. He found himself wishing she were there throughout the entire afternoon. 

When he reached his blissfully cool hotel room, he checked the fax that the WRC had sent him Friday night. His meeting was scheduled for 7pm in the hospitality suite the WRC had set up for the weekend. 

He had a bit of time, so he turned on the TV and then flipped idly through the channels. But he periodically glanced at the phone. He could call her. She might be in the hotel right now. Since he was allotting only five minutes for his meeting with Amy, he had a free evening. Maybe she did, too. Finally, he sat up, swung his legs over the side of the bed, and picked up the phone. Unfortunately, when he asked for Donna Moss' room, he was informed that she wasn't a registered guest of the hotel. Josh's heart sank and he sighed defeatedly. He was still determined they were going to talk, but apparently it wouldn't be today or tomorrow. However, it did make him even more pissed at Amy for not even allowing Donna to come to the conference. As far as he was concerned, the WRC owed her everything.

When it was time for his meeting, he grabbed the portfolio where he'd bound all of his thoughts and strategies for the rallies, and headed out of his room. He hadn't even bothered to change out of the khaki shorts, blue T-shirt, and white socks and sneakers he'd worn to the game. The one concession he made was leaving his Mets cap in his hotel room. 

Since he'd pretty much reduced the meeting to dropping off the portfolio, he really saw no reason to change into more proper business attire. After he was done, maybe he'd go for a walk, find some dinner.

When he reached room 1818, the door was closed. Not very welcoming for a hospitality suite, he thought to himself. 

***

Donna was in the bedroom of the suite when she heard the knock. Sam was right on time, but he'd caught her using the hotel phone to listen to a ridiculously long office voicemail. If she hung up now, she'd have to listen to the whole thing all over again in order to delete it, and she was already five minutes through. The WRC had nice offices, but a truly antiquated voicemail system. Figuring that Sam was a laid-back kind of guy and would understand, she yelled, "Come on in, door's open!"

Josh heard a muffled voice yell "come in" through the door. Usually, he would still hesitate, but being hospitality, it made sense that the place was open.

Once inside, he looked around the sizeable room. All over was evidence that the suite had indeed been used all day. On the far side was a large dining room table that could double for a conference table. Stapled packets of paper, presumably carrying all sorts of information, were strewn over it. In front of that was a bar area and a table that held some remnants of the earlier catering. He walked over and helped himself to some sort of chocolate-caramel cookie from a tray. It was good. The cookie alone was worth the trip to the suite. 

In the center of the room, a plush couch and several chairs sat situated towards a large armoire that held a TV. The back wall was entirely covered with windows that revealed an 18-story view of Manhattan and the park. Directly in front of the door through which he'd entered was a desk with a laptop and all sorts of files, papers and nametags scattered on it. There was no one in sight, but he could see movement through the crack in what he presumed to be the bedroom door. He assumed it was Amy. This was terrific. He could just set the portfolio on the desk and leave her a note, potentially being able to slip out without even having to see her. Quickly, he made his way to the desk and found a pad of Post-Its. On one he scribbled, 'This is everything you need from me. Call with ??s –JL.' It wasn't an entirely sincere offer, his invitation to call with questions, but he was a politician. He propped the portfolio on the desk, walked across the room to grab one more cookie, and was out the door. 

He was pleased to note he was in and out in just over a minute, far under his original meeting goal.


	8. Upside of Evil, The

Donna had just hung up and was walking through the door that led to the main room of the suite when she heard the main door click shut. 

Hastily, she looked around. The room was empty. Perhaps it had just been one of the hotel staff coming to service the room. Between catering and housekeeping they'd been coming in and out all day. 

Thankfully, her curious nature wouldn't allow her to accept that. Poking her head into the hall, she quickly glanced both ways and just caught sight of a man rounding the corner. He definitely wasn't hotel staff as he was wearing shorts and T-shirt. He also wasn't Sam. Even though she couldn’t see his face, one brief glimpse of the messy brown curls on the back of his head told her exactly who it was. 

He was here after all. She was frozen in place for an indecisive moment, and then before any more time could pass and he could get on an elevator… she hollered his name.

Josh stopped in his tracks. He'd been caught. Damn. Although it was hard to distinguish a voice via a yell down a long air-conditioned hallway and around a corner, it hadn't sounded like the embodiment of evil or sent a shiver of dread down his spine, so maybe it wasn't Amy?

He was tempted to make haste to the elevator and continue his escape. But if he'd been spotted, he should probably turn back and face the music. After all he was supposed to be making nice with these people. His orders from Leo were to show them the Bartlet Administration cared. Slowly, he walked back towards the room.

However, as soon as he turned the corner he abruptly stopped again. His breathing arrested, she was here after all. They both stood rooted to their spots in the hall. Each staring at the person they most wanted to see and were most afraid to see at the same time. It made for one matched pair of confused psyches.

Finally, he started towards her. When he was in front of the room, only feet away from Donna he uttered, "You're not Amy."

She licked her lips as she studied him, "And you're not Sam."

"Sam couldn't make it, so I… uh… came after all."

She couldn’t help the smile the curved her lips. "And the WRC decided to keep me as your liaison… after all."

Josh's throat felt like the Sahara, but he was able to mutter, "Smart of them."

Gesturing back to the door right behind her she asked, "I'm sorry I was on the phone a minute ago, did you want to come back inside?"

"Uh…" He fumbled inelegantly, but the answer was yes, he definitely did want to come back inside.

Reading his answer correctly, she turned and he dutifully followed her back into the suite. 

"Would you like something to drink?" She smiled and nodded over to the bar area and the assortment of bottled water and sodas that had been left over from earlier in the day. 

Nervous energy had been pumping through him since he'd first seen her in the hall; now that they were alone in the suite he was feeling even more uneven. But he managed to walk over to the bar and grab two of the water bottles. Deciding small talk was the place to start he wandered back toward her and commented as he handed her the second bottle, "I tried to call you earlier, but the hotel said you weren't registered at this hotel."

"Oh…" Her brows knit together as if that perplexed her, but they soon eased. "Oh that's probably because I'm staying here."

He glanced around appraisingly. "Here in this suite? Why are you staying in the hospitality suite?"

"Because I'm the new girl and someone has to stay in it. Nobody else wants to deal with the room. However, they tried to sell it as a treat. I would be staying in an executive suite, rather than a regular room!" Donna repeated with mock enthusiasm. "At least tomorrow hospitality isn't supposed to open until 9am, so the maids and catering aren't coming until 8. It won't be nearly as bad as this morning." She shuttered thinking of the early hour she had woken that day.

"I see… by the way how'd you find all this hotel space in Manhattan on two days notice?" Josh asked quizzically, still blatantly stalling for time.

"Got lucky with some group cancellation." Donna wandered towards the desk as she spoke and that's when she noticed the portfolio. "What's this?" 

"Uh… that's-"

But before he could respond, she turned back to him with a raised eyebrow as she repeated his note, "This is everything we need from you? Were you just going to drop this off?"

His shrug admitted guilt. "I left that when I didn't think you were here."

"And now?"

"Why don't you take a look at it and… I'll stay a minute." 

"Okay…" Donna took it and opened it as she sat down on the chair next to the couch. 

Quickly she started scanning the pages. It was a state-by-state timeline of where they should be and when for the next two months. Which districts they should have more of a public relations push and where they needed more of an educational push. Places where they needed to be more bluster than bite, like conservative districts with House members who were strong proponents of the Right to Life Bill and recommendations for where best to use Administration resources and specifically the First Lady. There was a breakdown of college campuses, where they were assured of their biggest turnouts and low-income areas where many people, especially women weren't registered. Most shocking to her there was a detailed outline of areas where they should make real efforts to reach disenfranchised minority women and register them to vote. 

Shocked, she looked up at him. "When did you do this?"

"Yesterday."

"Yesterday? You did all of this yesterday?"

"In all honesty, I've been thinking about it since Wednesday."

She just stood, studying him as if he was a medical marvel.

"What?" He asked self-consciously.

"I knew you were good. But I guess… I just… didn't really know how good."

"Well…" Josh tried to smirk, but he couldn’t find the smug when she was looking at him like that. It was possible he'd never felt so important in someone's eyes. 

"You were right, everything we need from you is right here." A wistful look danced across her eyes. "I guess our business is done."

He hastily shook his head in order to halt that train of thought. "Those are just some recommendations. You all are obviously free to do this anyway you please. We can… we can go over other scenarios. In fact we can tear this up and start from scratch." 

"No… this is… you boiled it all down and it's manageable. You took out the emotion. You would not believe the things we spent time on today. Banners! And what organization's name would be on which banners. Those women… well and some men, but they were mostly women were-"

"Scary." Josh finished for her with a faux tremble.

"What?" 

"They're scary. That's why I'm glad I’m dealing with you."

"And I'm not scary?"

"No…" Josh inhaled sharply and ran his hand roughly through his hair. "You're terrifying, but in a completely different way."

Her breath caught in her throat at his words and she watched him pace in front of her. When he didn't say anything more on the subject, she looked back down and something caught her eye. She muttered to herself, "This is… it's… it looks…" 

"What?" Josh asked carefully as he stopped pacing.

"You're not going to believe this," Donna exclaimed excitedly, "But this is very close to what I did my thesis on. My thesis was-

"The affect of Roe and abortion policy on minority woman in urban areas with a population over one million," he finished for her.

Donna stared at him open-mouthed. "You know what my Master's thesis was?"

Slowly Josh nodded and met her eyes. He didn't think there was any point of hiding it now. "I read it. I found it very enlightening and honestly it's… uh… what got me thinking about voter registration."

With recognition Donna's eyes were wide as she looked down to the report and then up to him again. "I found that those women most affected by abortion policy not only hadn't voted they weren't even registered." 

Josh just nodded and smiled at her nervously. "You did a really great job on your thesis by the way."

Her head was a bit swimmy. "Are you… are you saying that you got the idea to switch the march to the voter registration rallies from… from my thesis?" She could barely choke out the words.

"Pretty much," Josh admitted with a head bob. "I made a note on the relevance of your thesis there on the last page."

Donna flipped and sure enough there is was. "How… how did you… why…" She had so many questions she didn't know where to start.

His hands were shoved in his pockets and he hunched his shoulders as he shrugged at her. It was sort of a relief to him that she now knew he'd never really forgotten her, even if he felt incredibly exposed at the moment. 

"Josh, we need to talk." Her heart was in her throat, but her eyes drilled through his.

"Yes, we do."

The room was uncomfortably silent for a full minute as they both grappled with where to begin.

Taking the bull by the horns, Donna inhaled deeply and once again procrastinated, "You hungry?"

Josh nodded enthusiastically, he was just as eager as she was to buy a few more minutes before the inevitable.

***

By tacit agreement, they didn't talk of any of the things they needed to talk about while they waited for room service. Instead, and now sipping beers from the mini-bar, they went through his strategy, bit by bit. After studying it in-depth, Donna was even more impressed than she was the first time around. Their conversation was easy when they spoke of business and she was suddenly feeling much more confident about what she had to do for the next two months. 

When room service finally knocked on the door, Donna asked him if he would let the food in while she changed. Josh agreed and then watched with both apprehension and anticipation as the waiter started setting up a dinner service, not on the large conference-sized table, but the cart itself became a much smaller table for two sat up directly behind the couch, right up against one of the floor to ceiling windows. It was an entirely romantic-set up.

"You got me chicken?" He called out after he looked under the serving dish.

"I got us both chicken."

"I asked for steak."

"Are we going to go through this again?" she asked as she wandered back into the living room.

He didn't respond because he was suddenly too distracted by what she was wearing. "Are those your pajamas?" Josh asked as a jolt of desire hit his groin.

A bit self-consciously she looked down. She was indeed wearing her pajamas, soft cotton shorts and a white tank top. "I…uh… didn't bring any casual clothes for the weekend. It's pretty much this or a suit, and it's been a long day in that suit. Don't worry it's not like I'm dressed as a flannel dairy vixen tonight. You should be safe." 

"Right." He nervously cleared his throat thinking she was crazy if she thought he was safe from her wiles while she had all that skin showing. "Do you still have those?"

"I think so; they're probably with my winter stuff being shipped."

"Oh." He nodded, trying to suppress a smile at the fact that she still had the pajamas.

As she took a seat at the table, she asked, "What about you?" 

"What about me?" He took the spot across from her. 

"You're sunburned." She reached over and gingerly touched a cheek that was currently sun-kissed pink, trying to ignore the tingle she felt at touching him. "And you're wearing shorts and a T-shirt, not your normal meeting attire. But then again I guess you weren't really planning on meeting?"

"I went to a Mets game this afternoon." He replied a bit breathlessly. Breathless from the simple innocuous way she'd touched his cheek and the hope that she might do it again.

"Oh, I thought you liked the Yankees." Donna spread a napkin on her lap and really looked at the table for the first time. "This is nice. And would you look at that view. You can practically see the whole park from up here. Maybe it really is a treat to stay in the suite. Isn't this an amazing view?"

But Josh wasn't listening; instead he was glaring at her incredulously. Finally, she noticed the not responding and the glaring. "What?"

"The Yankees?"

She shrugged.

"That's blasphemy."

"What is?"

"Even suggesting that I might be a Yankees fan. I do not like the Yankees, Donna."

"What's the difference? Men hitting little balls with bats in New York, same thing, right?"

His fork clattered to his plate. "The difference? There's a huge difference!"

"Name one, except that the Yankees have been around a lot longer."

If not for the sunburn, Josh's face would have been turning red. He stuttered, "Well for one there's Mike Piazza. The greatest catcher to ever play the game!"

Donna bobbed her head several times as she took a sip of her drink. "Sure, Mike Piazza, I've heard of him, he's the gay one, right?"

"No!" Josh screeched.

She cringed theatrically. "Wow, that was adamant."

"Rumors… it's just unfounded rumors."

"Why should you care if he's gay? You're a democrat, you should be accepting of alternate lifestyles."

"I… I… am, I don't, it's just…"

He stopped when she dissolved into giggles right in front of him. "You're messing with me?"

She gave a faux-innocent shrug and started cutting her chicken. "You had a Mets coffee cup holding your pencils. I saw that my first day, I remember it because it was the only organization in your entire office so I knew it must be very important to you."

"Are you through having your fun?"

"For now…" She smiled enigmatically, frankly surprised at how comfortable she was while having this overwhelmingly romantic meal with him, especially considering the topics of conversation that were hanging over the table, still on hold. For the time being, small talk was best, with sincere interest she asked, "How was the game?"

***

They managed to keep an easy flow of conversation through the rest of dinner. Josh admitted to himself that it was easily the most pleasant meal he'd had in a long time. While they ate, the sky grew dusky and by the end of dinner the view beside them began to morph into Manhattan at night. It was spectacular.

"So do you think we've spent enough time procrastinating?" He asked softly after they'd both finished eating and were on their second drinks. 

"I think so." She replied equally as softly after swallowing a hard lump in her throat. She wasn't looking forward to this, but at the same time curiosity threatened to kill her. She desired information.

"Would you like to start or shall I?"

"I'll start." She leveled an intent gaze at him. The inexplicable letter of recommendation had been nagging at her since the moment she'd found out about it yesterday—but as she looked into his eyes her heart constricted and fear washed over her. So instead she nodded towards the skyline. "You want to get out of here?" 

"What!?"

"We're in New York, it seems like we shouldn't waste the night sitting in a hotel room."

"But we have the view and you're in your pajamas." 

"I'll put my pants back on. Be back in a jiff." And she disappeared into the bedroom before he could register another objection.

***

Nonplussed at her reluctance to talk, Josh stared at the closed door awaiting her return. He didn't have to wait long. Thirty seconds later she emerged still wearing the white tank top of her pajamas, but now she was in a soft gauzy white skirt that flitted around her knees. 

"How did you do that?"

"What?" she looked down self-consciously.

"You're all…" He motioned his hand around several times

"Not really… I found this at the bottom of my suitcase. Ready?" She asked holding the door open.

Shrugging he followed her out of the room.

***

Once outside they crossed towards the park and started walking down Central Park South. For a few minutes neither of them spoke. Finally, she nodded towards 5th Avenue which was looming ahead of them. "Should we go up or down? Towards the Museum or Sacks."

"They're both closed." Josh returned. Having enough he grabbed her hand and instead of continuing towards the intersection he tugged her off the sidewalk and into the park. It took him about half a minute to find what he was looking for. A bench. She followed secretly sighing with relief that he was taking charge. Moments later they were both seated on a bench overlooking The Pond. Joggers and strollers passed them and the noise and bustle from the streets was still visible and audible behind them, but not distracting.

"It's beautiful even when it's almost dark." She ventured after a few minutes of silence.

"Yeah…" He paused a beat and then, his voice quite, finally began. "Up in the room you said you wanted to start. If you're not going to start, then I will." 

She closed her eyes tight and took a deep breath. Obviously, it couldn't be put off any longer. Opening them, she turned on the bench so she could look directly into his eye.  
"When I originally applied to work at the WRC more than two years ago, a glowing letter of recommendation was sent on my behalf from White House Deputy Chief of Staff Josh Lyman."

He stared at her with wide eyes; he didn't think she would ever know that he wrote that letter. Maybe he shouldn't have forced her to go first. "When did you find out?" His voice was a bit raspy.

"My boss, Gwen, gave me a copy yesterday afternoon. I was… shocked. I had no idea. Wh-why?"

"I wanted to do something for you," he replied simply.

"It… it…" She searched for words. "It was a really beautiful letter and I'm pretty sure it's why I was promoted and how I got the job with the WRC in the first place."

He shook his head quickly. "You deserved both of those things."

She placed her hand over his on the bench between them and said the thing she'd been itching to say since she's read it. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he replied softly distracted by the tingle that shot through him where her hand rested on his.

"The letter was dated June of 2000…weren't you recovering from the…" Donna stumbled not sure how to talk about this with him, "From you know… the thing, two years ago."

"Yeah," He smiled grimly. "I had a lot of time on my hands."

"So boredom? That's why you tracked down where I was living and found out where I was trying to get a job and wrote a letter of recommendation."

"No, well maybe… yes."

She looked at him intently.

"It's just that I thought about you a lot back then." He looked forward out over The Pond. "I thought about how things might have been different if you'd never left."

Donna didn't think she could breath; the weight from what he'd just said was too heavy. She'd had no idea what he went through trying to recover from a gun shot wound, but to know he'd been thinking of her, that broke her heart. It was now impossible to consider that, a week ago, she'd thought he might not remember her at all.

"I packed a suitcase," she blurted and he met her eyes with a puzzled expression.

"That night, the night you were shot. I was up late studying for my last final, I heard the news, I couldn’t study anymore… it was the only B I got by the way." He rewarded her with a small smile, but didn't say anything. "When I found out it was you, I felt like a caged animal… like I was going to jump out of my skin. I went upstairs and I packed a suitcase and I had every intention of flying to DC or driving to DC… I didn't really have a clear plan at that point."

Watching her profile out of the corner of his eye, he asked softly, "Why did you decide not to come?" 

"The next morning my mom talked me out of it. She reminded me I had a final and that I'd worked so hard and that you most likely wouldn't even remember me and that they probably wouldn't let me anywhere near you anyway… I guess I felt stupid and I convinced myself that she was right. I didn't know you that well, it wasn't my place…" She paused for a beat before asking the question she most wanted an answer to. "Were you okay?"

He knew what she meant. "After I got out of the hospital my mom came and lived with me for three months and I had a nurse."

"Oh?" She asked feeling relieved that he had been well taken care of.

"I can't say that my relationship with my mother wasn't any the worse for wear."

"Oh no, really?" She asked with genuine concern.

Thinking of his mother, he smiled fondly. "I'm kidding we're fine. She was great to me… I just… wasn't the easiest patient."

Feigning shock, Donna brought her hand to her chest. "You're joking! That is amazing to me." He kicked her gently and she rewarded him with a smiled. "So how did you find me?"

"Why? Were you hiding?"

"No, but you were laid up, I'm just curious."

"You forget I was a national hero at the time, I'd been shot in the service of the President. I called a friend at the FBI. Originally, I just wanted your contact info. I thought I might call you or send an email. But being the FBI, I had all sorts of information within an hour." He didn't add that he hadn't needed to get shot to want or ask for the information it had just happened like that.

"You had the FBI find me?" She was stunned.

He nodded sheepishly. "Being unable to sit up, it seemed like the easiest way. The report said you were about to start grad school and had applied to the WRC. I… I… it seemed like your life was really great, and… well… my life was not so great. You didn't need to hear from some lonely, traumatized guy you barely knew when you had so much going for you. But still I wanted to help you if I could. So I wrote the letter. Actually, like I said I wasn’t up to sitting at the computer yet, I dictated it to my Mom and she typed it." He laughed slightly at the memory. "That was a fun day."

"I wish you would have called… or emailed." She replied softly, her heart breaking at the thought of him feeling lonely and traumatized after being shot.

"Me, too." He nodded while swallowing a lump in his throat.

"I would have come."

"Well then I'm glad I didn't, I wouldn't have wanted to disrupt your life."

After a few seconds of charged silence she turned to him again. "So that still doesn't explain the thesis."

"I've paid attention."

"I see."

He looked at her earnestly. "Listen, Donna, I don't want you to think I'm some crazed stalker. It's not like I… I… I wasn't trying to be invasive; I just wanted to make sure you were okay. After I wrote the letter I still thought about you from time to time and I was curious about your academic achievements. It's not like I read your diary; I read your thesis which was published on your university website for all to read. It only took a five second Google search to find. You had such a unique take on things; I wanted to know what you had to say. I was… proud of you."

Donna was choked up. This man, this amazingly accomplished and important man was proud of her accomplishment. Unfortunately, he took her silence as judgment.

He defended, "It isn’t all that different than you reading articles on me or watching my appearances on television."

Suppressing a smile she agreed, "No, no you're right. I don't think you're a stalker. I… guess, I suppose it is the same as that… just without intrusive government intervention."

He was relieved to see the smile play at the corners of her mouth and the laugh in her voice. Or he was relieved until she asked her next question. "But why did you care so much? Why did you think of me from time to time?" 

"I don't know, I guess I never had any sort of closure after you left. And when that summer hit I… I had a lot of time to think. A lot of time. Regrets sort of haunt you in that situation." Not giving her time to respond to that revelation, he quickly asked, "So how did you find out about that letter?"

"Um…" She was so discombobulated by all the revelations; it took a second to focus on his question. "I guess the new National Director told my boss. She thought I was connected because of it… apparently it influenced me getting this opportunity. You must know her, but I take it you don't like her very much?"

"I've known Amy Gardner for years, since college even… and actually we dated on and off last year."

She looked at him clearly surprised. "You dated her last year?"

"Yeah. It was never what you would call serious, but it didn't end well."

"Was she with Congressman Tandy at the time?" She edged back from him, like she didn't want his adulterer juice to get anywhere near her.

Josh laughed. "No… well, actually I guess I'm not sure. If it was politically expedient she would probably date a dozen guys at once." Suddenly he became serious, "Donna, be careful in your dealings with her."

"But she gave me this great opportunity, it seems like she has my best interests at heart." 

"Donna, she only ever has her own or her agenda's interests at heart. Just promise me you'll be on guard around her."

"Okay." She looked at him oddly, before gearing up to ask what was floating through her mind. "So are you seeing anyone now?" She was proud of herself, she was certain she sounded extremely casual, cool like she didn't really care; she was just making polite conversation.

He managed a smirk, despite the emotional unbalance he was feeling. "Well you know I'm very high profile, very sought after, in fact I was named one of the Ten Most Eligible Bachelors in D.C. last May by Politics Today Magazine."

"I know." She said it before she realized what she was admitting.

"You know?" In surprise, he sat of straighter on the bench.

"Yeah, I think I saw that issue or something." They just let that sit in the air, one more piece of evidence that neither one had ever been far from the other's mind. She looked over at him and turned the subject back to his social life. "So that's a no?"

"What?" He was still back on her reading about him in Politics Today Magazine; to him it was significant because it wasn't exactly a periodical that was circulated to the masses.

"So that's a no, you're not seeing anyone now?"

"I didn't say that." He felt his gut tighten knowing how she would answer the question if he asked her. So he didn't ask. Even if it wasn't Dr. Freeride.

"So you _are_ seeing someone?" She tried valiantly to keep her voice even, emotionless, even though she felt like someone had kicked her.

He perked up, he was certain he's seen a flicker of disappointment steal over her. "I didn't say that either."

She nudged him with her knee. Her skirt had ridden up her leg slightly so skin touched skin. Ignoring the jolt it sent through her she asked, "Then what are you saying?"

He contemplated teasing her in the hopes that she would touch her knee to his again, but instead he relented. "I'm not seeing anybody."

"Oh…" Josh saw her smile out of the corner of his eye. And he snapped, Donna displaying happiness that he was single was the thing that caused him to snap. She had a boyfriend back in Chicago and according to Sam she'd lied about why she'd left all those years ago, who was she to be happy that he was single?

"Why do you care?" His voice was suddenly much rougher than it had been a few minutes ago.

"What?" Her eyebrows shot up in surprise as she watched the change come over him.

"Why do you care if I’m seeing anyone?"

"I didn't say I did."

"Then why ask?"

"I uh… just small talk-"

He interrupted her, "And why do you give a damn about what I eat or whether or not I look tired on Capital Beat or that I'm one of DC's Top Ten most Eligible Bachelors."

"Josh… I…"

"Seriously, you left. Why did you leave?"

"It was complicated."

"Nothing is that complicated."

"I told you in the note."

"Why did you leave, Donna?" He demanded, this time with more urgency and it came out harsher than he intended.

Tears started burning behind her eyes and she felt precariously close to losing it. 

"Sam said you didn't leave to go back to Dr. Freeride. That you lied, so I wouldn't follow you. Is that true?!"

She took a deep breath as she felt herself spiraling out of control. "Yes."

Josh's gaze was hard. "Why? Why did you do it? Was it me? Were you scared of me?"

"No!" She answered quickly.

"Then what was it, Donna?! Damn it! I need to know."

Shame washed over her. It was too embarrassing and she didn't think she could admit it even now. So she did the only thing that seemed a safe course of action, she fled. Pushing herself off the bench, she started walking away quickly. Her arms crossed in front of her protectively, tears stinging her eyes.


	9. Upside of Evil, The

Stunned, Josh watched her go. He’d pushed too hard, and now she was walking away. Again. However, this time it only took a second of indecision before he took off after her, no longer willing to be a passive participant in his own life. When he caught her, he reached for her arm. "Donna, I'm sor-"

His voice died as she yanked herself away from him, but she stopped walking. "Please, Donna, I just have to understand and then we can really go our separate ways and put all of this behind us." His heart ached at the thought, but if they were his only two options, separate with answers was better than separate and no answers.

She turned on him, and finally, it was all too much. Several juicy tears rolled down her flushed cheeks and glistened in the moonlight. "I was in love with you! Don't you get it? I realized that night that I was head-over-heels in love with you and that's why I had to leave. I had just come off of making sacrifices and putting my life on hold for a man. I didn't trust myself. I didn't trust my decision-making and I couldn't do it again. Not to mention the fact that you were my boss and how it would have looked on the campaign. CJ pointed out to me how no one would take me seriously if I slept with my boss. Do you know how mortifying that conversation was?"

The words washed over Josh as he tried to take them all in. He shook his head slightly to indicate that he'd had no idea what it had been like for her.

"And I wasn't sure where you were, where your head was. CJ said you might not be thinking straight. If I was some sort of fling, if it had something to do with your dad's death, well, I didn't want that for either of us. And Mandy… you had a girlfriend. You and I were making out on your hotel bed and you had a girlfriend." 

"You were in love with me?" He was shell-shocked. That was not what he'd expected to hear. 

She tried to sound like the admission had all the import of, say, admitting she liked steamed carrots. "Yeah… you didn't suspect?" But her nonchalance was muted by a loud sniff and the tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I… uh… no."

"See, I was out there on that limb all alone and on top of everything else, I couldn’t bear just being a notch on your bedpost. I could tell we were headed towards sex that night, I'm sure it would have been great, but afterwards, I would have been that girl again. The girl who puts everything into a guy and loses, the girl who makes bad decisions based on her heart instead of her head. I couldn’t be that girl again and I couldn't handle it being that way, not with you. So for once, I followed my head."

He swallowed roughly, trying to return moisture to his throat, something to enable him to speak. What came out finally was, "I didn't want to have sex with you that night."

In the moonlight, she met his eye, searching for meaning. 

"I wanted to make love to you that night."

Instantly, her gaze shifted to the ground. She started shaking her head, even as her stomach fluttered wildly and her heart thumped in her chest. "We can't rewrite hist-"

"Look at me,” he implored, but his voice was barely above a whisper.

She looked up and saw all the intensity, all the desire and something that looked a lot like love reflected back at her. It was all still there. He stepped closer and gently ran his hand down her bare arm, sending electric charges shooting through her entire body. "Donna, something was happening between us that night. You weren't out on a limb all by yourself; there were two of us and I was falling just as hard as you were. And it was… well, even if I didn't know at the time exactly what it was, I do now. It wasn't about a notch on my bedpost, and it wasn't about grief or not knowing my own mind."

"You say that now, but then it would have created problems on the campaign-"

Donna trailed off as Josh's hand came to lift her chin. Their eyes met and she felt the burn of his intense gaze ignite her very soul. Slowly, he dropped his arms to her waist and leaned towards her, his breathing a shallow companion to hers. 

He moved ever so slowly, waiting, giving her ample opportunity to step back, break the spell, stop the moment which felt unstoppable. When he saw her lick her lips and lean forward ever-so-slightly, he waited not another moment. He touched his lips to hers. 

That's all it was at first, their mouths gently pressed together. Donna cleared her mind and handed control over to her senses. The feel of his hands firmly on her hips, evoking tingles of both excitement and contented security. The sweet night air wafted around them, enveloping them in a humid cocoon. Traffic sounded in the distance and the chirping of crickets could be heard much closer, but none of it penetrated. His lips were firm, soft and sweet on hers, and even though it had been four and a half years, familiarity at the sensation of being kissed by him washed over her.

It was a moment suspended in time, a moment so long dreamt about that it seemed to last an eternity, even though in reality it was only seconds until their lips started moving together in a slow languorous rhythm. Donna brought her hands to his neck, pulling him closer, needing him, needing more of him. Soon they were necking passionately, Josh parting his lips against hers and gently urging hers open with his tongue. He took a deep breath, trying to get oxygen to his brain. It was a losing battle; he couldn’t get enough of her. Like magnets, they drew closer and closer together. Donna's supple breasts, untethered beneath her flimsy white tank top, pushed enticingly against his chest, and he brought his hands up from her hips to gather her close to him.

They kissed and they kissed and they kissed some more on that path in Central Park overlooking the Pond. They failed to notice as people endeavored to pass by, or as horns honked from the street. 

It was some time later before they finally broke apart. Donna was flushed a fetching shade of pale pink, crowned with mussed hair and her lips stung with active use.

Josh took her in and whispered, "You are so incredibly beautiful." But Sam's words echoed in his head-- she was with someone else. Still, he didn't judge her for kissing him; after all, he'd kissed her in Atlanta while he had a girlfriend. His hands slowly glided up and down her upper arms he non-sequitured, "I want you to know that that night, I'd already decided to break up with Mandy. Emotionally we were already through." 

"Okay…" 

"And I also want you to know that I'm going to fight for you."

Still dazed from the kissing, she tried to clear her brain. "Fight for me? What do you mean?"

"I don't know how serious you are with this guy in Chicago or what kind of relationship you're in, but this time I am not giving you up without a fight."

"Relationship? I don't… I don't have a boyfriend."

"Sam told me you had a boyfriend in Chicago."

"No… that's not in the same hemisphere as what I told Sam. And CJ and Toby. I told them I was single. I haven't been in a truly serious relationship since before I met you."

"You're single?" He was too focused on this piece of soul-lifting news to worry about how and why he'd gotten the bad intelligence in the first place.

"Yes, I’m single." She took the opportunity to run her hands up his shoulders and link them around his neck. "And you're single." He just nodded in the face of the sexy, predatory look she was giving him. "You said you wanted to make love to me that night."

"I did, very much."

"You have no idea how much I wish I'd let you."

"Me, too."

"Make love to me tonight instead."

He didn't answer; instead, gob-smacked, he gazed into her eyes. That lasted for all of about three seconds; by then he'd gotten his wits about him, grabbed her hand and was dragging her out of the park and back towards the hotel with all due haste.

~~~~~~~~~ELECTION NIGHT~~~~~~~~~~

"I heard there was a party here."

The voice sent a jolt like none other through him. Slowly, he brought his head up, and found a sight for sore eyes standing in his doorway.

"Hi." 

"Hi," he whispered in return. Not so slowly, he made his way over to her and before either of them could speak, he was kissing her senseless.

Unfortunately, Donna had been on the road pretty much from the day after the conference in New York through the election, and Josh had been just as busy. They'd crossed paths only twice, a four-hour rendezvous in Portland in early September and again in mid-October for what turned out to be an amazing night in Austin, Texas. However, they'd talked on the phone every day. 

When their kiss finally broke, he pulled her tightly into his arms so he could hug her properly. Drawing her as close to him as possible, he once again whispered “hi” into her ear.

"Hi," she giggled back. "Congratulations, you won."

"So did you. No vote on the Hill for the Right to Life bill, and lots of new voters."

"Who turned out and voted for your guy."

"Our guy."

"Yeah, our guy."

She pulled back far enough so she could study his face. "Do you have it?"

Instantly, he turned serious, and patted the front of his suit jacket. The letter of resignation was in the inner pocket. "Yeah."

"What are you going to do?"

His whole future hung in the balance of that question. His heart suddenly beating irregularly, he replied, "That depends on you. What are you going to do?"

Just then they were interrupted. "Donna, there you are!" CJ was smiling in at them warmly; she entered Josh's office and gave Donna a quick hug. "Good to see you. The First Lady is asking about you. You must come down to the East Room and let her tell you how impressed she is with everything you've done."

Pleased, Donna turned to Josh and mouthed, "I'll be right back."

He nodded in understanding and went back to his desk. He was supposed to be celebrating, but he had decisions to make before he could enjoy a celebration of any kind. He had to know if he was staying or leaving, and he wouldn’t know that until he talked to Donna.

A few minutes later, a voice sounded at the door. "Hi, J."

Startled, Josh looked up immediately, but kept his face impassive. "Amy."

"So I guess you should be thanking me."

"Thanking you?"

"For bringing Donna to DC and putting her in your path."

"I don't know what you mean." Both Josh and Donna had agreed to be discreet until after the election, especially when it came to Donna's co-workers. It was fairly easy, since they had barely been in the same city.

"I wish you would stop assuming I'm stupid."

He just tried to look put-out and went back to flipping through the polling numbers. Even though they'd already won, he was still analyzing them, because that's just who he was. 

"Don't you want to know how I knew?"

"Knew what?" He asked without looking up.

"Knew you would be putty in her hands."

"I'm not putty in her hands." He winced internally at the bald-faced lie. He knew he was pretty much whatever Donna wanted him to be in her hands. Putty… a coffee-fetcher… a sex slave. "And you already told me that you found that old letter of recommendation."

"I saw them." If smug could be bottled and sold, Amy Gardner would make a fortune.

"Saw what?" He still didn't look up.

"The photos."

"What photos?"

"The photos you keep of her in your nightstand."

"In my nightstand?" Now that warranted his full attention. He crinkled his brow a moment, and then he remembered them. Margaret had taken lots of candids on the campaign trail and then distributed them to the staff once they were at the White House. He'd kept the ones with Donna; they were his only connection to her. However, they were also painful to look at, so he'd shoved them in his journal. But how had she known? Then he realized his stupidity. "You went snooping through my things while we were dating?"

"What snooping, I opened the nightstand and there they were. Practically a shrine to her."

"No, they weren't. There were just a few candids from the campaign trail and they were inside a leather-bound journal. You were reading my journal?"

The thought didn't rankle him because he felt invaded; the truth was he was a sloppy diarist. He'd been told many times to keep a diary so he could one day write his memoirs, but could never find the time or, frankly, the patience. So the journal was nearly empty, but that wasn't the point. 

"There was nothing in it to read. You're really quite boring, J." She rolled her eyes.

"Doesn't make it okay that you tried!" he hissed back at her.

"Whatever. When I first saw Donna, I recognized her immediately from those photos and I knew you had some gothically romantic, unrequited thing for her. Putty in her hands; I'll have to find a way to give her a bonus."

Just then, Donna cleared her throat. They both whipped around to see her standing in the door. Without waiting for either one of them to react to her presence, she took out the envelope she'd had in her purse, the envelope carrying a letter identical in intent to the one in Josh's suit jacket. She had been wrestling with the same issue; however, for her the decision was no longer a struggle. She handed the letter to Amy. "No bonus necessary. Here's my resignation. Thank you for the opportunity."

Amy took it from her gingerly, before narrowing her eyes. "What do you think… you get one win under your belt because he has a crush on you and you're too good for the WRC?"

"Not too good for the WRC," Donna replied evenly. "Too good to work for you. I don't like being a pawn. However, you got what you wanted out of me, and I got a ticket to the big leagues and DC, so we'll call it even."

Amy looked to the letter and then back to Donna, who had moved to stand next to Josh. Realizing that she'd milked the situation dry and any further conversation would be potential political suicide, she simply replied, "Have a good evening," and slithered out of the room.

Donna shuddered once Amy was out of earshot. "There really is an evilness about her." 

"Yes, there is, but you know, it's sort of true."

"What is?"

"We do kind of owe our reunion to her."

"And Sam and CJ," Donna added dutifully.

"And Sam and CJ, although I will get Sam back for lying to me about your gomer back in Chicago. But it was Amy that started it all."

"So you're saying there's an upside of evil?"

"That's exactly what I’m saying." He chuckled and pulled her to him so they were face-to-face. His eyes were twinkling and his dimples were out in full force. "You just quit your job."

"I know."

"I guess that means that you decided to quit your job."

"Well, Amy sort of helped that decision along."

"Does that mean you think I should quit my job and we can move to the middle of the country and I can explore academia and set you up for a Congressional run in two years?"

She blushed hotly. During the last month, he'd constantly been trying to tell her she would make a terrific candidate for public office. "That's a big commitment for two people who have only spent two full nights together."

"By tomorrow morning it will be three." His grin was bigger than his face, and it was contagious.

"That's true." She returned his big cheesy grin. "But I also have other offers."

"Better than going back to my apartment tonight?"

"No, that's a pretty damn good offer. I can’t imagine what could top that."

"So… better than running for Congress?"

"Maybe not better, but different."

"More lobbying?" he questioned with true interest.

She took a deep breath before beginning. The last week had been a whirlwind, still out on the road but having found herself something of a political celebrity after the success of the voter registration rallies. "The Secretary of Health and Human Resources called herself to offer me a job. Policy. Senator Bailey in California wants me on her staff and I got similar offers from two other Congresswomen, and NOW offered me an Associate Director position." 

His eyes were huge. "Wow."

"Yeah."

"So quitting just then, not so much of a risk."

"Not so much…." Donna trailed off, gearing up to tell him about the most tempting offer to date. "There's one more."

He looked at her incredulously, but smiled. "What? Did the President offer you my job?"

"Nope, but the First Lady just offered me a job."

"Really?" Now she had his full attention. 

"Lily Mayes is pregnant. Dr. Bartlet wants me to join her staff, with an eye at taking over as interim Chief of Staff when Lily goes on maternity leave in six months. And Lily told me herself that when she comes back, if she comes back, it won't be as Chief of Staff. So basically, Dr. Bartlet just asked me if I would like a career path towards her Chief of Staff." 

"Oh, Donna, that's terrific." His eyes and voice were full of pride.

She shook her head, but still couldn’t stop smiling. "It's ridiculous. I'm too young. Too inexperienced." 

"Donna, you just were at the forefront of one of the most important things that's happened to the women's movement in twenty years. You went into places where women don’t think they have a lot of options, and you helped give them a voice. You focused the energy of hundreds of thousands of women. It was nothing short of amazing. Of course everyone wants you."

"But Josh, that was all you. I couldn’t have done any of that without you. It was your idea. Your strategy…"

"I don't remember me on an eight-week tour of the country. And as far as the idea, I pretty much took it from your thesis… remember?"

"We make a good team." She beamed at him and kissed him on the side of his mouth.

"Yes, we do." He nodded, his heart filling with joy at her affectionate gesture. "So what do you want to do?” 

"If I worked for the First Lady and you still worked here, would we be able to work together at all?"

As Josh thought about it, the idea began sounding better and better. Having Donna in his life, even when she was traveling around the country the last two months, had made everything look more bearable. He no longer felt on the verge of burn-out. In fact, it was quite the opposite; he felt like he had a new lease on life. "Sure, occasionally. Anytime the First Lady is pushing an agenda or wants a voice in policy. And we would be working in the same building." 

"Could we make out in the Oval?" She wagged her eyebrows at him facetiously. 

"Nightly," he deadpanned.

"Then I think we should keep being a team where we can make the most difference. Right here." 

Transfixed by her gaze and her enthusiasm, he leaned over and returned the kiss to the side of her mouth. If she would be in the White House, the appeal of his job just increased tenfold. "For the record, I still think you'd make a terrific Congressperson. And I would have looked fantastic in one of those tweed jackets, with a bunch of buxom co-eds calling me Professor."

"How about if I call you Professor…" She smiled seductively at him. "When the Little Professor comes out to play, AND I let you send me to Congress once President Bartlet is out of office."

"Deal." His heart just about damn near exploded as they sealed it with a kiss.


	10. Epilogue

Josh stared at the TV screen, willing the results to come in faster. It didn't work. Two pundits were talking about the Senate race in Maryland. He'd been through plenty of election nights, but he'd never been so nervous. But then again it had never been this personal before. He was about to start one of his favorite election night pastimes, pacing back and forth, but his ears perked up when he heard:

Pundit 1: "Let's talk for a minute about the Virginia 11th…"

Pundit 2: "One of the most interesting races in the country, for sure, and right in our own backyard."

Pundit 1: "Frank, the Republicans have had a stranglehold on this seat for over a decade, and it's especially tough after redistricting. How did this race get so close?"

Pundit 2: "Well, first off, I think the Republicans severely underestimated Donna Lyman-" 

"Damn right!" Josh muttered out loud.

Pundit 1: "Some might say they underestimated the team behind her."

"Idiot," Josh re-joined at the second commentator's interjection. 

Pundit 2: "That's true; most Congressional candidates don't have a campaign staff peppered with volunteers who have gotten a President elected-"

Pundit 2: "Volunteers? You're downplaying it; her husband is Josh Lyman, for those who don't remember he was the White House Chief of Staff during the final year of the Bartlet administration. He's considered something of an election guru and he ran this campaign."

Pundit 2: "He did, but don't sell this lady short. She's been a very charismatic figure on the campaign trail and she's won over a lot of people with the old-school approach of shaking hands, kissing babies and being unafraid to talk about any issue at any time. Her opponent certainly can't claim that."

Pundit 1: "That may be true, but we can't forget to factor former President Jed Bartlet into the equation. The beloved ex-President has been tirelessly traveling the country lending support to Democratic candidates everywhere, but he did seem to make the Virginia 11th a high priority, with a handful of visits." 

Pundit 2: "He did indeed, as did the former First Lady. Of course, Donna Lyman, or Donna Moss-Lyman, as she was known during her Bartlet tenure, did serve as her Chief of Staff through most of the extremely successful second term of the Bartlet administration."

Pundit 1: "But some might say that the campaign not only embraced her Bartlet administration ties, but exploited them."

"Exploit?" Josh grumbled and let fly a few choice expletives at the commentator. A moment later he felt a tug on his pant leg. Looking down, he found himself peering into the warm brown eyes of his four-year-old son.

"Daddy, you just said three bad words."

Josh smiled in spite of himself as he leaned down to pick up his little boy. "You're right, buddy, I shouldn't have done that." He glanced around. "I thought you and your brother were upstairs in the hotel room with your grandmas?" He cocked a suspicious, fatherly eyebrow at him. "Aren't you supposed to be sleeping?"

"It's more 'citing down here, so we came for a visit." The little boy's eyes danced, and not for the first time did Josh rejoice that he had a little politician in the making. He could tell these things. It was obvious the tot was excited about the election, and not by the balloons and music and people. At least to Josh, it was.

"Okay, you can stay." Josh shifted back so they could both see the screen. "But they're talking about Mommy on TV, so we have to watch."

"Kay!" 

Pundit 2: "… they certainly touted her impressive record of achievement while working for First Lady Abigail Bartlet. They painted her as a person who has proven she can get things done and as someone—and this is important-- who will know how to get things done for her district in Congress."

Pundit 1: "But the Republicans tried to exploit that experience the other way; they tried to portray her as too DC insider-y, an interloper and professional politician, if you will."

Pundit 2: "They did indeed, but that didn't really fly. She's lived in Virginia for five years, a wife and a mother of two young children…"

"They're talking about you, big guy." Josh tickled his son's stomach and made him giggle.

Pundit 2: "…she created a very appealing package…"

"Tell me about it." Josh interjected with a grin as he tickled his son again.

Pundit 2: "…strong ties to family and community with a big bang of education, intellect and experience in DC and government service to back it all up. She also had a real feel for what was important to this district-"

"There you are!" A voice boomed behind Josh and he turned to find Sam scurrying towards him from the door to the ballroom where supporters and staffers were waiting for results. "Everyone thinks they're getting ready to call the race."

"It'll be at least another fifteen minutes." 

"How do you know?" Sam knit his eyebrows in question at him.

"I know."

"Right." Sam nodded, bowing to Josh's sixth sense about all things election-related. "But you should probably get in there."

"Yeah, okay, these talking heads are making me crazy."

As Josh started towards the ballroom, the mass of four-year-old in his arms started squirming and whining that he wanted down to go look at the balloons by Grandpa. Josh complied, but he had no idea where the boy got the whining from. He hoped he would grow out of it, but for some reason Donna didn't seem as certain that he would. As Josh entered the ballroom with Sam, he immediately spotted his wife. She was just handing their 18-month-old son back to her mother, and surrounded by people who were waiting to congratulate her. And she was on the phone-- his wife, the consummate multi-tasker. 

Coming up from behind her, he heard her say into the phone, "Be honest, does the women's movement judge me for removing the hyphen in my last name? It wasn't about the far-right; polling said it made the majority of voters feel like I was more accessible and connected to my family, and therefore all families…"

When she noticed Josh, her eyes lit up and she leaned over to brush his cheek with a brief kiss. "Thanks for calling; I'll talk to you later."

"Are the feministas circling?" he asked when she hung up. 

"That was Gwen."

"And? Have they permanently disowned you?" Amy Gardner had written an essay for the National Council of Women's Organizations website warning an eminent death to feminism, citing Congressional candidate and former First Lady Chief of Staff Donna Moss-Lyman’s removing her hyphen and maiden name in order to placate family values voters as one of the signs. However, Amy's latest organization still gave Donna their endorsement, a sizeable campaign contribution and encouraged its members to do the same.

"As if she can speak for all of them, but she did assure me that the women's movement on the whole just really wants me in Congress, and no one _really_ cares what my last name is." 

"Told you." He wagged his eyebrows at her. 

"Yes, you did."

He eyed her seriously. "Are you nervous?"

"No."

"Donna?" 

"Okay, yes, I'm nervous," she whispered, so no one around them might hear. "You know, when I told you six years ago that you could put me in Congress when we got out of the White House, I was mostly joking."

"Too late now." His dimples made an appearance. "Because it's about to happen."

Her eyes bugged out and she whapped him lightly on the shoulder. "Don't say that! You're the one who taught me never to get cocky on election night. It's bad luck. Turn around and spit three times."

Josh rolled his eyes. "It's turn around three times and spit."

"Fine. Do it!" She implored him with a glare.

When she didn't look like she was contemplating backing down, he smiled at how damn adorable she was as a superstitious almost-Congressperson, and then did it.

"Thank you." She breathed a sigh of relief once he had concluded his revolutions and completed his air-spit. "I really don't know where your head was, Josh."

Josh watched her, a big grin gracing his face. "Man, I love you. And you're going to make a helluva Congressperson. Even if we don't get it this time, there's always the next."

Her face softened and dissolved into an expression that Josh had come to call 'Mushy Donna.' He secretly loved 'Mushy Donna.' Mostly because when she had it she looked him in the eye, just as she was doing now and said things like she was about to say. 

"I love you, too." Donna cupped his face tenderly with one hand. "Always have…" 

"…always will," Josh finished, having no idea that he was wearing an equally-mushy expression which Donna had secretly dubbed his 'Sweet Josh' face.

Just then, someone turned up the speaker system to the TV announcers and a hush fell over the crowd. It was time.

"WUSA is ready to call the race in the Virginia 11th with 87% of the precincts reporting. Long-time Republican incumbent Daniel Wolfe has been unseated in a startling upset-"

The rest of the sentence was drowned out by the tremendous roar that went up in the hotel ballroom. Balloons were released from the ceiling and the band started playing loudly as everyone yelled and hugged in celebration.

Josh's arms were wrapped tightly around Donna, or more exactly, around the newest member of the House, representing the 11th District of Virginia. Whoever she was, Josh was holding her tight and loving every minute of it.

As the celebration continued, Josh kissed her soundly, told he once again how much he loved her, but then had to let her go so she could receive congratulations from all the people who had helped put her there. He watched with unmitigated pride.

A few minutes later he felt a tap on his shoulder. "So we did it; am I off the hook?" Sam asked with a huge smile after giving Josh a quick celebratory hug.

"I'm not done making you pay, Sam."

Sam rolled his eyes. "It's been six years since I told that little white lie about Donna having a boyfriend; I just spent three months volunteering for her campaign… when are you going to let it go?"

Josh replied without a trace of sarcasm, "Just as soon as the right guy is sitting in the Oval."

"Arnold Vinick is not such a bad guy," Sam reasoned.

"He's a Republican."

"That is true."

"He needs to be a one-term Republican."

"That won't be easy."

"No, it won't. But it's not impossible."

"What are you saying, Josh?" Now Sam's voice held trepidation.

"I'm saying we have two years to put a Democrat back in the White House. There's a guy out of Texas I want to take a closer look at."

"And you want to start…"

"Tomorrow."

"Of course. You know, you should be thanking me for that white lie, instead of using it to force me to do your professional bidding." But there was a smile in his voice. Sam had loved every minute that he'd been able to spare for Donna's campaign. 

"You don't want to help me put a Democrat back in the White House?" Josh raised an eyebrow at him.

Sam thought about it and then answered emphatically. "I do, actually." 

"Good, we start tomorrow. And Sam…"

"Yeah?"

Josh watched his wife as she waved to the cheering crowd with one hand, and held their 18-month-old with the other. Nearer to him he spotted his eldest batting balloons into the air under the dotting supervision of his own mother. Before heading over to collect his balloon-wranglers so the whole family could unite next to Donna on stage, he turned back to Sam. "Thank you for that little white lie, because this is truly a wonderful life."


End file.
